Template:Did you know nominations/Angampora

Angampora

 * ... that Angampora is a near-extinct style of martial art native to Sri Lanka, which incorporates pressure point attacks?
 * Reviewed: Napoleon points
 * Comment: 10x+ expansion on 19 May 2012

Created/expanded by Astronomyinertia (talk). Self nom at 17:29, 20 May 2012 (UTC)


 * Symbol possible vote.svg The article as an expansion is long enough, it is well cited throughout and neutrally written. I can find no copyvio problems. The hook is interesting, and the second half is cited. My only quibble with this nomination is that calling Angampora "a near-extinct style of martial art" means that it is nearly extinct now, which the article does not claim. What it says is that Angampora nearly became extinct in the 19th century. A minor re-writing of the hook is needed. Moonraker (talk) 15:24, 22 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Symbol redirect vote 4.svg You are correct Moonraker. I added the phrase based on my understanding that the practice is confined to a few shools in Sri Lanka. But it is not supported by the refs, and contradicts the information on recent preservation attempts. Therefore I think its better to avoid that part. What about this alternative?
 * ALT1: ... that Angampora, a martial art native to Sri Lanka which incorporates pressure point attacks, was banned by the British who occupied the country in early 19th century?  A STRONOMYINERTI A  ( TALK ) 17:22, 22 May 2012 (UTC)


 * Symbol confirmed.svg The alt. overcomes my quibble. May I suggest adding this image, which I have cropped from one in the article? Moonraker (talk) 04:26, 23 May 2012 (UTC) Angampora (cropped).png
 * Great!:) A STRONOMYINERTI A  ( TALK ) 04:57, 23 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Is "occupation" really the correct term?--Carabinieri (talk) 05:21, 23 May 2012 (UTC)
 * The British Empire article uses the word "occupied" on many occasions. In this case, occupied/conquered means the same I think. Correct me if I'm wrong. A STRONOMYINERTI A  ( TALK ) 05:32, 23 May 2012 (UTC)
 * On second thoughts, I'm inclined to agree with Carabinieri's doubts. The word "occupied" implies military forces simply moving in, as with the British occupation of Iceland in 1940, whereas "conquered" means "took by force", with some fighting needed. Reading about how the British came to control Ceylon, the picture seems very confused, as there was a Dutch handover of the parts of the island they had ("Zeylan") and also a British conquest of the Kingdom of Kandy in the Kandyan Wars. We could perhaps say "the British who gained control of the island in the early 19th century"? To cover that I have added to the article "and who had full control of it by 1818", with a citation. Moonraker (talk) 07:16, 23 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Several online dictionaries I referred describe the word "occupy" as "seize and control as by military invasion" and "take possession and control of (a place), as by military invasion" which indeed was the case with Kingdom of Kandy, the last Kingdom of Sri Lanka. Anyway I'm fine with "the British who gained control.." part. So the hook now seems like this I think:
 * ALT2... that Angampora (pictured), a martial art native to Sri Lanka which incorporates pressure point attacks, was banned by the British who gained control of the island in the early 19th century? A STRONOMYINERTI A  ( TALK ) 14:02, 23 May 2012 (UTC)


 * Symbol confirmed.svg This is ready to go, with ALT2. (I agree with the definition of "occupy" as "seize and control as by military invasion", but to my English ear "occupy" clearly implies little or no fighting. The men of Kandy, exercising some Angampora, clearly failed to roll over for the British invasion.) Moonraker (talk) 17:25, 23 May 2012 (UTC)


 * Symbol delete vote.svg Close paraphrasing. Compare for example "All the practice sessions start with Buddhist meditation and offering of pin (merit) to the master" with "Every practice session begins with a session of meditation and an offering of pin (merit) to their guru", or "a whip like apparatus made of four double-edged flexible strips of metal" with "a whip like apparatus made of four double-edged flexible strips of metal". Nikkimaria (talk) 02:00, 24 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Symbol delete vote.svg I missed that. Will inform Astronomyinertia that some re-writing is needed. Moonraker (talk) 03:01, 24 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Symbol redirect vote 4.svg Made the necessary changes. Hope its fine. A STRONOMYINERTI A  ( TALK ) 11:10, 24 May 2012 (UTC)
 * I have asked Nikkimaria if she has time to check it, she is clearly good at this. Moonraker (talk) 16:20, 24 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Much better, though there are still some paraphrases to be improved - compare for example "Angampora is made to kill, but also enforces tough discipline" with "the game is made to kill, now it is mainly focused on tough 		discipline". In checking paraphrasing, I also noticed some factual and sourcing errors. For example, you state that Menike killed her father, while the source says that she defeated the warrior who killed her father. As another example, the bit about offering merit is cited to this source, but the information actually appears in this source. Nikkimaria (talk) 18:24, 24 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Symbol redirect vote 4.svg I've fixed the issues you have raised. A STRONOMYINERTI A  ( TALK ) 19:07, 24 May 2012 (UTC)


 * Symbol confirmed.svg Unless anyone has any further comments, I think this is now ready to go, with ALT2 and picture, which is public domain. Considering that it was proposed for deletion two weeks ago, the improvement is spectacular. Moonraker (talk) 14:04, 26 May 2012 (UTC)