Template:Did you know nominations/Berachah Industrial Home for the Redemption of Erring Girls


 * The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as |this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 03:24, 21 April 2018 (UTC)

Berachah Industrial Home for the Redemption of Erring Girls

 * ... that the Berachah Industrial Home for the Redemption of Erring Girls was a former home for women and orphans on the University of Texas at Arlington campus?
 * Comment: User:Michael Barera let me know if I have done this correctly!

Created by Samantha Dodd (talk). Nominated by Doddsam09 (talk) at 17:24, 20 March 2018 (UTC).


 * I will review this nomination, and help walk through her first DYK. Michael Barera (talk) 18:10, 20 March 2018 (UTC)


 * Symbol question.svg Hi, I came by to promote this, but the hook is a bit circular ("did you know that the Home ... was a former home"). Something hooky should be said about the place. Here's a suggestion:
 * ALT1: ... that the Berachah Industrial Home for the Redemption of Erring Girls in Arlington, Texas, ministered to "fallen women"? Yoninah (talk) 22:14, 25 March 2018 (UTC)
 * ALT2: ... that the Berachah Industrial Home for the Redemption of Erring Girls, a facility for unwed mothers and orphans, was located on the University of Texas at Arlington campus? Doddsam09 (talk) 13:25, 26 March 2018 (UTC)
 * Yoninah, thank you for your feedback! I have made adjustments to the hook statement. Let me know if you think that it sounds a litter better! Doddsam09 (talk) 13:26, 26 March 2018 (UTC)
 * on the DYK nomination template, we don't edit previous hooks, but add new ones with the title ALT1, ALT2, ALT3, etc. This preserves the thread so other editors and the hook promoter can follow the discussion. I have restored the original hook and listed your new suggestion as ALT2, as it follows mine in chronological order. Yoninah (talk) 15:52, 26 March 2018 (UTC)
 * Regarding your ALT2, is the "hook" the fact that it was located on a college campus? If so, I think you could say it a lot more concisely by piping the link:
 * ALT2a: ... that a home for unwed mothers and orphans was established located on the campus of the University of Texas at Arlington? Yoninah (talk) 15:54, 26 March 2018 (UTC)
 * Thanks for clarifying! This is my first one of these so I am still a little unsure of how it alls works. But I appreciate how helpful all the Wikipedians have been that I have interacted with! Doddsam09 (talk) 15:56, 26 March 2018 (UTC)
 * I am just afraid that saying it like ALT2a that it almost makes it sounds like the home was established after the univeristy. Perhaps this sounds a little better?
 * ALT3: ... that the University of Texas at Arlington used to be the site of a facility for unwed mothers and orphans called the Berachah Industrial Home for the Redemption of Erring Girls? — Preceding unsigned comment added by Doddsam09 (talk • contribs) 16:03, 26 March 2018 (UTC)
 * Well, now you have me confused. First, there's no mention of this facility in the University of Texas at Arlington article. If the Home is important, it should be mentioned there. Second, was the home on campus or off? I changed "established" to your "located" in ALT2a; does that help? Third, using the name of the facility together with a description of it is simply too long. You'll see that I chose to identify it rather than name it in ALT2a. Alternately, you could name it without identifying it, as in ALT1; anyway, the name says a lot. Please remember that we're writing hooks here, not descriptive sentences. If you tell me everything about the subject in the hook, I won't need to click on it. Yoninah (talk) 16:10, 26 March 2018 (UTC)


 * I apologize if I am making this difficult. Thank you for your patience and your feedback. The University has existed since 1895, but has gone through several changes and names since then; it did not become the University of Texas at Arlington until 1967. The Berachah Home was established in 1903 and closed in 1935. Campus continued to grow and as with most universities bought up all of the surrounding land. They acquired the Berachah land in 1963. Some faculty years later wondered why we had a cemetery in the middle of campus and started to research it. They recieved a historical marker for it in 1981. I know you didn't need all of that but I just wanted to clarify for clarity's sake. I think that it probably should be added to the University of Texas at Arlington article. I think it would fit nicely under the campus section. Regarding the hooks statement, I think that ALT2a looks good. But if this sounds better here is another option:
 * ALT4: ... that part of the University of Texas at Arlington campus used to be the site of a home for unwed mothers and orphans?
 * Again Yoninah, thank you for being patient with me and providing such great feedback. Doddsam09 (talk) 13:00, 27 March 2018 (UTC)

I also think ALT2a looks good, and would likewise be happy to go with ALT4. Michael Barera (talk) 03:10, 28 March 2018 (UTC)
 * since the nominator agrees, you could go ahead and approve both ALT2a and ALT4, and let the promoter decide. I've struck the other hooks. Thanks, Yoninah (talk) 15:58, 28 March 2018 (UTC)
 * Symbol confirmed.svg Per Yoninah, I'd like to officially approve both ALT2a and ALT4. The promoter can decide which to use in the hook. Michael Barera (talk) 18:34, 30 March 2018 (UTC)