Template:Did you know nominations/Danny Duffy

Danny Duffy
or
 * ... that when top baseball prospect Danny Duffy (pictured) of the Kansas City Royals retired in March 2010, it reminded many of when Zack Greinke left the Royals in 2006?
 * Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Atiqah Hasiholan

Created/expanded by Muboshgu (talk). Self nom at 19:20, 23 April 2012 (UTC)


 * Symbol question.svg 5x expansion verified. New enough, long enough, well-referenced. No close paraphrasing seen. However, the hook is vague; it doesn't draw me in. It also implies that he was a member of the Major League Baseball team, when he wasn't. Can you suggest something punchier? Thanks, Yoninah (talk) 17:17, 10 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Hmm, I thought that was punchy enough. I'm open to any suggestions, of course, but let's see what I can do...
 * ALT 1: ... that Danny Duffy (pictured) abrupt retirement from the Kansas City Royals organization in March 2010 reminded many of when Zack Greinke left the Royals in 2006?
 * Symbol confirmed.svg OK, that's better (I like "abrupt"). ALT1 good to go. Yoninah (talk) 17:26, 10 May 2012 (UTC)
 * I'm glad you asked for a better hook, because I agree that word helps out considerably. – Muboshgu (talk) 17:34, 10 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Even though this has passed, I'm going to suggest a tiny addition—his age—that I think makes this even more startling:
 * ALT 2: ... that 21-year-old Danny Duffy (pictured) abrupt retirement from the Kansas City Royals organization in March 2010 reminded many of when Zack Greinke left the Royals in 2006?
 * The cited source does mention his age, though the article doesn't explicitly give it at that point, and perhaps should. (The reader could calculate based on his birthdate, of course.) I was even more surprised when I read the article and realized that he unretired three months later, and today pitches for the Royals in MLB. BlueMoonset (talk) 20:50, 10 May 2012 (UTC)
 * I think that adding his age is an improvement. Should the hook say that he unretired? That Greinke unretired? Baseball watchers will know Greinke, as a major award winner, but the average person probably won't. – Muboshgu (talk) 20:55, 10 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Glad you like the addition. The age ought to be explicitly mentioned in the article if it's going to be in the hook.


 * I don't think the hook has to tell about the unretirement; let them read, find out, and be surprised like I was. I can confirm that I'm not a baseball watcher and don't know Greinke at all, much less that he'd also unretired, which is not mentioned in Duffy. (Is it worth extending the parallel? As it is, the impression in the article is that it was the retirement part that reminded them of Greinke, because that's the only thing you mention. Were they hoping that he'd be like Greinke in returning to the Royals? (He did, didn't he?) BlueMoonset (talk) 21:04, 10 May 2012 (UTC)


 * Symbol confirmed.svg The age has been added to the article and ALT2 is verified and ready to go. Yoninah (talk) 12:03, 13 May 2012 (UTC)