Template:Did you know nominations/Diego García de Moguer, Geography of the British Indian Ocean Territory

Closer's note: this was withdrawn by Rosiestep.  Rcsprinter    (deliver)  @ 16:57, 16 September 2013 (UTC)

Diego García de Moguer, Geography of the British Indian Ocean Territory

 * ... that Spanish explorer Diego García de Moguer discovered an island of what is now the British Indian Ocean Territory and is named after him (roads of Diego Garcia pictured)?

Created by Dr. Blofeld (talk), Ipigott (talk), Gilderien (talk),Rosiestep (talk), and Nvvchar (talk). Nominated by Dr. Blofeld (talk) at 21:50, 24 June 2013 (UTC).


 * Reviewed Template:Did you know nominations/Sam K. Harrison.-- Nvvchar . 05:42, 25 June 2013 (UTC)
 * Reviewed Template:Did you know nominations/Blackspot shark.


 * Symbol possible vote.svg Hook fact carries a tag in Diego García de Moguer, and is part of a difficult-to-understand phrase (why was it a Portuguese expedition, and why is it in double quotes). This article further needs a copyedit, there are several ungrammatical sentences; some to an extent that I'm not sure what it is supposed to mean (e.g. After his Juan Díaz de Solís was killed died (killed...). Geography of the British Indian Ocean Territory has several unsourced paragraphs. --Pgallert (talk) 07:47, 1 July 2013 (UTC)


 * I took care of the sourced paragraphs in the Geo BIOT article. --Rosiestep (talk) 21:25, 1 July 2013 (UTC)


 * It's been a week, and while the above sourcing was accomplished and some minor copyediting was done to Diego García de Moguer, a thorough copyedit is needed for that article. Please report back when this has been accomplished so I can call for a new reviewer; there's no point in doing so before then. Thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 04:50, 9 July 2013 (UTC)
 * I'm still available, unless you want to go with a different reviewer. However, for as long as there is still a tag behind the very fact that is supposed to be the hook, there is no way I can pass that. Cheers, Pgallert (talk) 13:03, 9 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Great, Pgallert. I certainly didn't mean to bypass you, and am very happy you're planning to continue; this was more of a bump that your issues had not been answered, so I couldn't put out the "review again" icon. I notice that Rosiestep has started some edits on Diego, so I suspect you'll be reviewing this again soon. Thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 19:08, 10 July 2013 (UTC)
 * All 3 sentences with the 'citation needed' tag are translations from the es wiki by one of our collaborators. As I can't find en language refs to support these sentences, do you want me to remove them? My concern is that once I start removing translated sentences that lack inline citations, little will be left. --Rosiestep (talk) 03:23, 11 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Regarding article content I commented on Talk:Diego García de Moguer, in a nutshell, the hook statement I would indeed remove from the article. There is no need to remove everything uncited, but we would need a different hook (one that carries a good ref in the article), and for DYK we cannot have paragraphs completely without references. I'm not sure if the ugly 'citation needed' tags pose a problem for passing a DYK (Rule 4 requires conformance with the Verifiability policy). The Buenos Aires foundation claim contradicts the existing WP article, and that needs to be resolved per DYKAR. So there is still quite something to be done, unfortunately. --Pgallert (talk) 10:16, 11 July 2013 (UTC)
 * I removed the unsourced stuff but couldn't find a citation for his death, but I have a feeling people are still going to be awkward over this.♦ Dr. ☠ Blofeld  19:22, 11 July 2013 (UTC)
 * I removed a few more of the unsourced sentences. --Rosiestep (talk) 14:35, 17 July 2013 (UTC)
 * We still need a new hook, and the Buenos Aires issue needs to be resolved. Cheers, Pgallert (talk) 14:12, 22 July 2013 (UTC)
 * I removed the Buenos Aires fragment from the article. But I think what needs to happen next is to split this nom into two separate ones with two different hooks. Can that be done? --Rosiestep (talk) 06:00, 28 July 2013 (UTC)
 * There should be no rules against that but there might be some technical trouble. Maybe suggest a hook for only one of the two articles, and renominate the other one, linking to this conversation. --Pgallert (talk) 09:34, 31 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Ok, thanks, Pgallert. For the record, here are the two proposed hooks. I'll deal with the splitting after work (if someone doesn't beat me to it).


 * ALT1a: ... that the human Geography of the British Indian Ocean Territory includes the depopulation of Chagossians (pictured unloading survey equipment with US personnel in 1971) from the Chagos Archipelago?


 * ALT2a: ... that Diego García de Moguer was a pioneer in exploring the Paraná River, as well as the Sierra de la Plata of the Río de la Plata? --Rosiestep (talk) 14:58, 31 July 2013 (UTC)


 * Rather than create a new template, just have the separate hooks be dealt with here and promoted one at a time. It's how we've dealt with previous multihook splits. BlueMoonset (talk) 15:56, 31 July 2013 (UTC)


 * Thanks BlueMoonset. --Rosiestep (talk) 01:44, 1 August 2013 (UTC)


 * Symbol redirect vote 4.svg Need reviewer to check the individual ALT1a and ALT2a hooks. Pgallert, did you want to do these, or should we find a new reviewer? Thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 17:06, 12 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Can do that, but only just came back from Wikimania... tomorrow, I guess. --Pgallert (talk) 14:32, 14 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Thanks. Welcome back! BlueMoonset (talk) 17:09, 14 August 2013 (UTC)
 * ALT1a Geography of the British Indian Ocean Territory (expanded article) has a suitable 5x expansion. Picture is PD, article is sufficiently referenced. Symbol question.svg I find Coconut palm plantations were established in the late 18th century to produce copra with slave labour brought from Africa to work on the plantations. too close to the original coconut plantations were established to produce copra. Slaves were imported from Africa to work the plantations. Material from reference 10 (Diego Garcia Integrated Natural Resources Management Plan, section 2.5.1) has not been reworded at all. Reference 13 (hackingfamily.com) was offline at the time of check, I'll try later. Symbol question.svg The hook is referenced and factual but could IMHO be much more to the point. They built a military base and forcefully removed all indigenous people, and that's approximately how it should be expressed. The current wording beats about the bush too much. --Pgallert (talk) 19:45, 15 August 2013 (UTC)
 * ALT1b: ... that the human geography of the British Indian Ocean Territory includes the forcible removal of all indigenous people after the US built a military base on one of the islands? --Rosiestep (talk) 03:10, 16 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Note: changed "forceful" to "forcible" in the ALT1b hook, as the latter is the correct word in this context. BlueMoonset (talk) 03:29, 16 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Changed sentence.-- Nvvchar . 15:28, 16 August 2013 (UTC)
 * ALT2a Diego García de Moguer (new article) is sufficiently long and new, has at least one reference per paragraph. Main sources in Spanish, and Google books does not allow me to view inside, therefore AGF on plagiarism concerns. Symbol question.svg The hook fact is referenced to a directory with 320 pages. Please look up the page of the listing, and reference it directly. --Pgallert (talk) 19:45, 15 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Done. --Rosiestep (talk) 02:38, 16 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Symbol voting keep.svg ALT2a is good to go. --Pgallert (talk) 09:53, 16 August 2013 (UTC)


 * Note to potential promoters: these are two separate hooks for separate articles. At the present time, only one—the ALT2a for Diego García de Moguer—has been approved. When you promote it, please do not fill in the DYKsubpage template as you would normally do; that shouldn't be done unless you are promoting the other of these articles/hooks. Please note below when you promote the first hook so no one attempts to promote the same hook twice. Thank you! BlueMoonset (talk) 13:23, 16 August 2013 (UTC)
 * ALT2a is now on P2. --PFHLai (talk) 10:51, 17 August 2013 (UTC)


 * Symbol redirect vote 4.svg For safety's sake, I have struck the ALT2a hook for Diego García de Moguer, as it has just been promoted. The Geography of the British Indian Ocean Territory article and its latest hook, ALT1b, is still being reviewed, and has not yet been approved. BlueMoonset (talk) 13:00, 17 August 2013 (UTC)


 * Paraphrasing issue in article Geography of the British Indian Ocean Territory has been addressed now.-- Nvvchar . 23:40, 17 August 2013 (UTC)


 * Symbol question.svg The "Egmont Atoll" paragraph, which is sourced by the hackingfamily.com site that Pgallert couldn't see above, is problematic in two ways: first, the referenced page doesn't mention Egmont at all except to say it's "no longer on the permitted list", certainly not given as a favorite spot. The site's data is over five years old, and since it's a family's site, I have to wonder why it's being considered a reliable source in the first place, even though it clearly should not be used as a source for this paragraph. A reliable source, and one that covers the material in this paragraph, will need to be found. Also, to my eye, the structure and wording for FN10 is still closely paraphrased; I don't consider switching primary measurement units to be an adequate change. FN11 is problematic in that the material is not in paragraph 3.3 but in later paragraphs, except for the "coral flats", whatever they may be, which are not mentioned at all in the source, at least by that term. BlueMoonset (talk) 00:40, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your comments. Nvvchar and I have edited the article and hopeful corrected all the issues raised. --Rosiestep (talk) 03:50, 23 August 2013 (UTC)


 * Thanks, Rosiestep. The FN10 (now FN14) issue seems to have been addressed. FN11 (now FN15) had the "coral flats" assertion removed, but the referenced paragraph had not been changed in the inline cite, so I've taken care of it. (Please check to be sure I have cited the intended later paragraph. Thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 22:21, 30 August 2013 (UTC)


 * Symbol redirect vote 4.svg The Geography of the British Indian Ocean Territory ALT1b hook needs reviewing, along with a double check to be sure all the issues raised above have been addressed. BlueMoonset (talk) 22:21, 30 August 2013 (UTC)


 * Geography of the British Indian Ocean Territory was written 2.5 months ago. Thank you to the reviewers for all your suggestions to improve it. Now it's time to give this nom a rest. I'm withdrawing it. --Rosiestep (talk) 03:52, 16 September 2013 (UTC)