Template:Did you know nominations/HZE ions

HZE ions
Created by Uruiamme (talk). Self nom at 22:06, 9 January 2013 (UTC)
 * ... that highly charged HZE ions make up just 1% of galactic cosmic rays, but they cause as much damage as protons that make up 85%?


 * Comment - could the hook be more understandable to the average reader? It's hard to tell from your hook what 'damage' you're referring to - damage to buildings? damage to meteroids? Perhaps 'but they cause as much damage to the human body as protons that make up 85%' will do? Kayau (talk · contribs) 11:54, 10 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Try ALT1 or ALT2. I had thought of the exact same thing, but I wanted to minimize the length of the hook. A shorter hook (like a title of a newspaper article) can be somewhat difficult to comprehend. I think the purpose in both situations is to have the person reading the hook or title to want to read further about the situation. I don't prefer the below two alternate hooks, but here they are in all their glory. To answer your question, the "damage" is actually "biological damage," which is a technical term for what happens when ionizing radiation is absorbed by the body. I like to saw logs! (talk) 21:01, 10 January 2013 (UTC)


 * ALT1: ... that highly charged HZE ions make up just 1% of galactic cosmic rays, but they cause as much radiation damage as protons that make up 85%?


 * ALT2: ... that highly charged HZE ions make up just 1% of galactic cosmic rays, but they cause as much biological damage to astronauts as protons that make up 85%?


 * ALT2 seems to be better for the average reader IMHO. Symbol confirmed.svg - date, length, verifiability, NPOV, etc., verified. Kayau (talk · contribs) 23:00, 10 January 2013 (UTC)