Template:Did you know nominations/James P. Hagerstrom

James P. Hagerstrom

 * ... that James P. Hagerstrom is one of seven pilots to be a flying ace in two wars—World War II and the Korean War?
 * Reviewed: Plumbeous Water Redstart

Created by HueSatLum (talk). Self nominated at 02:58, 2 January 2014 (UTC).


 * Symbol possible vote.svg in the current state. It's a very interesting article and I really like the hook - so it looks like it could be very promising with a bit of work: There's not a match up of the cited content to material covered by the sources. In the first couple sentences of James P. Hagerstrom, I could not find the following information in the cited source: 1) Month and date of birth(s), 2) that he was born in Cedar Falls (says he "grew up" there, 3) names of his parents, 4) that his grandparents emigrated from Sweden. As a starting place, it would be good to have a through review of the article to the content is properly cited.


 * By the way, good to go for: Dab links and copy vio. One potential connection issue for: Valor awards for James P. Hagerstrom citation. -- CaroleHenson  ( talk ) 18:58, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review. I've addressed the {cn} tags and will try to clarify what was cited from what throughout the rest of the article. What's the connection issue for the valor awards? As far as I can tell it's an online version of his Distinguished Service Cross commendation.&#32;~HueSatLum 19:31, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
 * Cool! The issue with the link seems to be resolved. I ran check links and that look-up for that citation timed out. I re-ran the check links just now and it is fine.-- CaroleHenson  ( talk ) 21:10, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
 * Oh, that kind of connection issue. .&#32;~HueSatLum 21:55, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
 * Everything should be fixed now. I apologise for the fault in the referencing. Those responsible have been sacked.&#32;~HueSatLum 18:17, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * Funny! I'll take a look.-- CaroleHenson  ( talk ) 19:50, 3 January 2014 (UTC)


 * I did some spot-checking and it looks good. A couple of things and then I think we're good:


 * There's sporadic bits of close paraphrasing, where the information is stated in roughly the same order as the source and is not particularly paraphrased. I made some tweaks/suggestions to the early life sections and there are a few others, such as:
 * In the article: When Jim was five, he got to sit in the cockpit of a Curtiss JN-4 biplane, which left a significant impression on him.
 * The source: When "Jim" was five years old, he had the opportunity to sit in the cockpit of a World War I vintage "Jenny" aircraft and was greatly impressed.
 * Possible rewording: His interest in aviation began when he was given a ride in a Curtiss JN-4 biplane at the age of 5.
 * Another example is similar in the article and source: Hagerstrom's older brother Robert was also undergoing basic training at the same time, and the two brothers were together for about six weeks.
 * For the next sentence, about having a ride at age 13, you may want to put in quotes "he had the thrill of his life".
 * By the way, I personally like your use of quotes and the call-outs in the blue boxes. It's so much clearer than they way they appeared earlier. I'll check for any other copy edits. Other than that, I think it's good to go.-- CaroleHenson  ( talk ) 20:31, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * Yes, I found some good quotes, and I couldn't find any free images, so I used the quote boxes to break up the text a little. I've addressed the close paraphrasing. Thank you for giving it a thorough review, as I am considering putting it up for GA (if I can find an image of him). Cheers,&#32;~HueSatLum 01:18, 4 January 2014 (UTC)
 * Symbol confirmed.svg Looks good to me! Great work on it!-- CaroleHenson  ( talk ) 01:35, 4 January 2014 (UTC)