Template:Did you know nominations/My Journey into the Heart of Terror: Ten Days in the Islamic State


 * The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as |this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:54, 23 December 2017 (UTC)

My Journey into the Heart of Terror: Ten Days in the Islamic State

 * ... that My Journey into the Heart of Terror is authored by Jürgen Todenhöfer, the first western journalist who stay in Islamic state to knowing motivations of fighters? 12
 * Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Hassan Ahmed (Ghanaian diplomat)

Created by Saff V. (talk). Self-nominated at 09:02, 18 November 2017 (UTC).


 * : REVIEW COMPLETED - The following review was completed by Esemono 
 * QPQ for Template:Did you know nominations/Hassan Ahmed (Ghanaian diplomat)
 * Article created by Saff V. on November 15, 2017 and has 2580 characters (447 words) "readable prose size"
 * Artile has acceptable English Article needs to be rewritten with and translated into natural English.
 * Hook is fine Hook needs to be rewritten in more natural English
 * ALT0 and ALT1 is sourced to :In October 2014 I was the first western journalist to spend time with Isis and return safely.
 * Every paragraph sourced
 * Earwig @ Toolserver Copyvio Detector found no copyvio
 * Article needs some copy editing -- Esemono (talk) 07:54, 2 December 2017 (UTC)


 * ALT1 ... that My Journey into the Heart of Terror chronicles Jürgen Todenhöfer's trip as the first western journalist to visit the Islamic state and return safely?
 * please do not use the DYK icons to indicate approval or disapproval, as it confuses the bot. I've replaced your checkmarks with acceptable marks. Yoninah (talk) 00:20, 3 December 2017 (UTC)
 * Thanks for review!, I wonder if you do the copy edit of article. Regards. Saff V. (talk) 07:05, 13 December 2017 (UTC)
 * I revised the text to conform with proper English grammar. I believe I did not change any of the information, and kept all citations in place. People involved in the article and this DYK review should check to see if all information still reads correctly. David notMD (talk) 10:19, 17 December 2017 (UTC)
 * At the request of the nominator, I made some little changes, too. -- M h hossein   talk 10:52, 17 December 2017 (UTC)
 * Thanks for copy editing the article, can I ask you to continue to review? Regards!Saff V. (talk) 07:12, 19 December 2017 (UTC)


 * Article has been rewritten but still needs a new hook, one that is written in natural English -- Esemono (talk) 07:34, 19 December 2017 (UTC)


 * ALT1 ... that My Journey into the Heart of Terror is authored by Jürgen Todenhöfer, the first western journalist who travel to the Islamic state of Syria and Iraq?
 * It is my suggestion. and Is it possible to know your idea about rewriting the hook? Regards! Saff V. (talk) 08:27, 19 December 2017 (UTC)
 * Suggest past tense and add "ISIS" David notMD (talk) 14:10, 19 December 2017 (UTC)
 * ALT1A ... that My Journey into the Heart of Terror was authored by Jürgen Todenhöfer, the first western journalist to travel to the Islamic state of Iraq and Syria (ISIS)?


 * Hi @all. Thank you Saff V. for inviting me to the discussion. I've got a major issue with the hook; The wording of all the hooks suggested till now, read as if the there's a legitimate territory entitled 'Islamic state of Iraq and Syria', this is implied by "...travel to the Islamic state of Iraq and Syria." Looking at the sources, you'll see that the journalists use the term in a cautious manner and use suitable qualifiers to reassure that the "self pro-claimed" caliphate would not be officially recognized by their words. Hence, I suggest the following hooks:
 * ALT2 ... that My Journey into the Heart of Terror was authored by Jürgen Todenhöfer, the first western journalist to travel to the lands captured by Islamic state of Iraq and Syria, invited by the group?
 * ALT3 ... that My Journey into the Heart of Terror was authored by Jürgen Todenhöfer, the first western journalist to travel to the self-proclaimed caliphate of Islamic state of Iraq and Syria, invited by the group?


 * I added 'invited by the group" to make it even more interesting. We can decide whether to use the 'ISIS' or 'Islamic state of Iraq and Syria'. -- M h hossein   talk 16:38, 19 December 2017 (UTC)
 * How amazing hooks!I really appreciate all the job you’ve done to help me. Also I prefer the full name of ISIS. Regards! Saff V. (talk) 07:37, 20 December 2017 (UTC)
 * Stiking ALTs that use this language. -- Esemono (talk) 07:43, 20 December 2017 (UTC)
 * ALT4 ... that My Journey into the Heart of Terror was authored by Jürgen Todenhöfer, the first western journalist to be invited by and to travel to the self-proclaimed caliphate of Islamic state of Iraq and Syria?


 * Symbol confirmed.svg Good to go. Taking the name concerns brought up by  M h hossein   ALT2, ALT3, ALT4 should be used. Hooks are sourced to :In October 2014 I was the first western journalist to spend time with Isis and return safely. and Todenhӧfer received a piece of paper stamped by the caliphate as a guarantee of his safety. Leaning towards ALT4 as it sounds the most natural. -- Esemono (talk) 07:43, 20 December 2017 (UTC)