Template:Did you know nominations/Oil shale in Israel

Oil shale in Israel
Created/expanded by Beagel (talk). Self nom at 19:36, 27 October 2011 (UTC)
 * ... that oil shale deposits in Israel cover approximately 15% of country's territory?


 * Symbol question.svg The lead needs to be expanded, most especially you need to mention what oil shale is and that it is a newly exploitable form of energy. "Country's territory" seems redundant, and you can fit a bit more information into the hook - perhaps you should.  Res  Mar 23:41, 27 October 2011 (UTC)


 * Lead is expanded. Please let me know if you think that further expansion is needed. I do not think that we need a deep explanation about "what oil shale is" in this article as we have FA status on oil shale article. What I did I just added basic definition of oil shale and bring link to the oil shale article into the second sentence. I don't know how it could be added into hook, but if there is any idea we should consider this. Concerning 'country's territory', the alternative is to use 'Isreali territory' instead; however, in this case there will be repetition of Israel in the hook. By my understanding this 15% applies to the Israeli territory without Palestinian territories. There is no known oil shale deposits in Palestinian territories. However, the source does not specify this. I will also think how to expand the hook or if there is any good alternative for the hook. Beagel (talk) 09:14, 28 October 2011 (UTC)
 * ALT 1: ... that oil shale deposits in Israel may cover approximately 15% of country's territory, but only a small part of it is mineable for energy use?
 * Symbol confirmed.svg Everything checks out. The current line is acceptable, but I like ALT 1 better for length, and because it mentions "for energy use".  Res  Mar 15:32, 29 October 2011 (UTC)
 * Support ALT 1. Beagel (talk) 17:26, 29 October 2011 (UTC)