Template:Did you know nominations/Ottoz family

Ottoz family
Created/expanded by Kasper2006 (talk). Self nom at 15:02, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
 * ... that the Olympiastadion was friendly to the Ottoz family, 3 members have broken national record: in Berlin 1936, Gabre Gabric in discus, in 1964 Eddy Ottoz on 110 m hs, in 1994 Laurent broke the record of his father with 13:42.


 * Symbol possible vote.svg First, the article Ottoz family is too short; it has only 646B of prose, below the 1500B minimum. Second, the hook needs to be cut down to 200 characters or less (it is currently 559 characters). Chris857 (talk) 16:54, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
 * ✅ The rule say "1,500 characters" not "1,500B" and the characters of the main article are 3,982. Now the hook is 197 characters. --Kasper2006 (talk) 00:47, 25 July 2012 (UTC)


 * Symbol delete vote.svg I'm going to have to turn this down. First of all, I *think* the "B" in Chris857's comment is there by accident; I don't know, though, how they arrived at 559 characters for the hook. But the hook is not below 200--it's 247 and it's not in the proper format since it is written as two sentences, one of which a question, and both grammatically challenged. That's easily tweaked, but the article itself is a bigger issue: it really consists of two lists (a list of members, only partly verified, and a table with some results of three family members) and a not well-written paragraph based on a single source from an unreliable site (in the end, it's from www.scuole.vda.it, a local portal in Aosta). This is what Chris meant with "646B of prose". The DYK rules stipulate that "articles must have a minimum of 1,500 characters of prose (ignoring infoboxes, categories, references, lists, and tables etc.)"--ignoring the list and table, this article has 647. Besides, it is in bad need of proper copyediting. Drmies (talk) 14:02, 25 July 2012 (UTC)
 * ✅ I set the hook in one sentence (without any question), now is 186 characters.
 * ✅ Now the main article is without any lists, I converted it in a section, now the article have more of 1,500 characters of prose.
 * ✅ I added all full citations (just the results are results), and now the article has a proper copyediting.
 * ✅ I expanded the 1st reference and added two new references in english language. --Kasper2006 (talk) 16:27, 25 July 2012 (UTC)
 * Since most of the text is in fact text it's acceptable, in my opinion. I don't see what you did with the hook--it's still not even in the grammatical form of a question. I removed the "friendly" phrase from the article; that's not encyclopedic and it shouldn't be in the hook either. The lead is a bit odd--one family member is mentioned in the lead, and the actual "History" section begins with that guy's wife, which is not a good thing. The history section needs to be one continuous account, and the lead should be a bit longer than one single sentence. Finally (for now), the article still needs to be copyedited for grammar, esp. punctuation. Drmies (talk) 21:56, 26 July 2012 (UTC)