Template:Did you know nominations/Pedro Cordero Martin

Pedro Cordero Martín

 * ... that 2004, 2008 and 2012 Boccia Paralympian  Pedro Cordero Martin  is the athlete representative on the Catalan Sports Federation of Cerebral Palsy?
 * Reviewed: Hillsboro baseball stadium

5x expanded by LauraHale (talk). Self nominated at 14:21, 24 November 2013 (UTC).


 * Symbol question.svg The following has been checked in this review by Matty.007
 * QPQ taken care of
 * Article 5* expanded by LauraHale on 24 November 2013, and has 2706 characters of readable prose
 * Every paragraph is sourced. However, prose is a bit jerky, "He was part of the Spain team in the BC1-BC2 boccia team event. His team finished third.[1] He won a bronze medal at the 2009 European Championships.[3] Competing at the 2010 World Championships, he finished third". Any chance of rejigging of sentence structure?
 * Earwig @ Toolserver found no copyvios
 * Competition at 2008 Paralympics needs sourcing, as does the 2012 Paralympics. The hook is also a little jerky. How aboutAlt 1: ... that Pedro Cordero Martín, the athlete representative on the Catalan Sports Federation of Cerebral Palsy, competed at the 2004, 2008 and 2012 Paralympics in boccia? Thanks,  Mat  ty  .  007  20:06, 27 November 2013 (UTC)


 * I am fine with Alt1. --LauraHale (talk) 07:35, 28 November 2013 (UTC)
 * Symbol redirect vote 4.svg OK, this will need another reviewer. Would it be plausible to strengthen the prose in the meantime? Thanks,  Mat  ty  .  007  17:25, 28 November 2013 (UTC)


 * Symbol question.svg Alt1: length OK, I've de-capitalised boccia, which isn't a proper noun, and included the word Paralympics in the 2012 wikilink. Hook facts are neutral, interesting enough, and appear in article with inline refs: ref #5 actually says Mr Cordero is the athlete representative to the Sporting Commissions (Comissions Esportives) of the Federation, which is probably close enough.But I wouldn't be comfortable with this article being advertised on the main page in its current state. As mentioned above, the prose is very jerky, and there are several typos, misleading bits and omissions, e.g. The name of his boccia club is misspelt. The article says he works as "a consultant", where the source says office automation consultant (assessor ofimàtic: an IT person may well be able to translate it better). There's no mention of his reaching the individual bronze medal match at the 2004 Paralympics. The phrasing "He won a bronze medal at the 2009 European Championships" without any qualification implies (to me, anyway) an individual medal, but it was won as a member of the Spain team. Perhaps I'm over-fussy about the clarity of writing and what is or isn't included in the content, but it isn't encouraging that all the foreign-language refs are marked "in Spanish" when some are Catalan and one is Portuguese... cheers, Struway2 (talk) 15:39, 28 December 2013 (UTC)


 * Also, should the second surname be Martín with an accent on the i, rather than Martin? Some of the references, including, , have the accent. cheers, Struway2 (talk) 15:52, 28 December 2013 (UTC)


 * Symbol confirmed.svg As there's been no response from the nominator, I've given the article a bit of a copyedit and fixed some misunderstandings. Hope that having copyedited the article doesn't preclude my approving the hook. If it does, please accept my apologies and untick it again.I've also moved the page to the correctly accented version, i.e. Pedro Cordero Martín with an accent on the i, and have changed the hook accordingly, but if anything in the links at the top of this page need changing, please could someone who knows what they're doing fix them. cheers, Struway2 (talk) 21:03, 7 January 2014 (UTC)
 * Symbol possible vote.svg Considering the current topic ban discussion at WP:AN, this should not be promoted yet. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 02:31, 10 January 2014 (UTC)
 * Ah. Wasn't aware of that. On this article, there were similar problems, both in quantity and nature, to those referred to at WP:AN. I ended up checking all the references and rewriting (and in one case removing) anything that wasn't verifiable from the cited source(s), so I don't think there are any inaccuracies or unverifiable stuff left. "Catalan Cerebral Palsy Sports Federation" might be a better translation for the organisation mentioned in the hook. cheers, Struway2 (talk) 11:01, 10 January 2014 (UTC)


 * I closed the AN discussion regarding Laura Hale, so this review should be able to proceed. --Orlady (talk) 15:10, 31 January 2014 (UTC)


 * Symbol confirmed.svg Confirm my approval of Alt1. As to the translation of the organisation's name, someone's found an English version on an official site which is the same as that used in the hook, so I'm happy follow a published source. cheers, Struway2 (talk) 15:06, 2 February 2014 (UTC)