Template talk:Did you know/Duff Cooley

Duff Cooley

 * ... that, after his 13 season Major League Baseball career, Duff Cooley (pictured) divorced his wife, became an alcoholic, and eventually died of a heat stroke?
 * Reviewed: Type 79 radar

5x expanded by Albacore (talk). Self nom at 21:04, 30 July 2011 (UTC) Please add a comment and signature (or just a signature if endorsing) after each aspect you have reviewed:

Hook
 * Length, format, content rules: Symbol confirmed.svg The original hook was withdrawn. The alt 1 hook has the wrong year (1904 instead of 1905).  The alt 2 hook looks good.  I'm approving the alt 2 hook only. Cbl62 (talk) 00:43, 2 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Source: Sourcing is fine on the alt 2 hook. Cbl62 (talk) 00:43, 2 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Interest: Even though Cooley died more than 70 years ago, I don't think this hook is appropriate. It strike me as excessively negative, and frankly not that interesting.  Veteran baseball player has a drinking problem and gets divorced.  I think we can and should be able to do better. Cbl62 (talk) 23:32, 1 August 2011 (UTC)
 * A hook playing off of the fact that an injury to Cooley made room for Ty Cobb to move into the Tigers' starting lineup strikes me as more interesting. Cbl62 (talk) 23:48, 1 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Image suitability, if applicable: I uploaded this image in my first month as a wikipedian back in 2007. While I believe in good faith that I accurately reflected it as being a public domain photo, I was new to wikipedia at the time and did not record the source of the image.  I have tried this afternoon to locate the original source, but without success.  Unless the original source can be found and verified as PD, I don't think we should put the image on the main page.   Cbl62 (talk) 00:37, 2 August 2011 (UTC)
 * I found the source at the LOC, which states the image is in the PD (1905 publication date). Added to image. Albacore (talk) 00:48, 2 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Symbol confirmed.svg Good work.  With the source now added, the image appears good as well. Cbl62 (talk) 22:57, 4 August 2011 (UTC)


 * ALT hooks, if proposed:*... that after outfielder Duff Cooley (pictured) broke his leg in the 1904 Major League Baseball season, future hall-of-fame inductee Ty Cobb took his position?
 * ALT2' ... that after an injury during his 13th season of Major League Baseball, Duff Cooley (pictured) was replaced by rookie Ty Cobb?  Sharktopus talk 00:00, 2 August 2011 (UTC)

Article
 * Length:  Sharktopus talk 00:15, 2 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Vintage:  Sharktopus talk 00:15, 2 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Sourcing (V, RS, BLP): Check. Cbl62 (talk) 00:47, 2 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Neutrality: Looks ok. Cbl62 (talk) 00:13, 2 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Plagiarism/close paraphrasing: See below. Cbl62 (talk) 00:11, 2 August 2011 (UTC) Rewording looks ok. Cbl62 (talk) 00:30, 2 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Copyvio: Nothing that appears to rise to the level of copyvio. Cbl62 (talk) 00:13, 2 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Obvious faults in prose, structure, formatting: The discussion of the 1893, 1894 and 1895 seasons strikes me as overloaded with statistical minutiae. Much of this strikes is unnotable trivia, which makes the article dense and difficult to read.  This article would be much stronger if the less significant statistical information were removed.  Examples of items that I consider to be unneeded minutiae:
 * (1) "On the [1893] season, Cooley batted .346 with 20 runs scored, 37 hits, two doubles, three triples, 21 RBI, and eight stolen bases over 29 games played." The only statistic that is particularly notable in this sentence is the .346 batting average; the rest is mundane and should be stricken.
 * (2) "Cooley finished the year [1894] tied for tenth on his team in plate appearances, home runs, and RBI." Thoroughly mundane statistical achievements, not worth mentioning. Cbl62 (talk) 00:11, 2 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Reworded. Albacore (talk) 00:40, 2 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Thanks for improving. The article could still benefit from sifting out some of the less significant statistical information. The more laden an article is with stats, the harder it is to read.  But it's good enough at this point to pass IMO.  Cbl62 (talk) 00:47, 2 August 2011 (UTC)

Comments/discussion: The following are examples of close paraphrasing that could use some rephrasing:
 * Article: "After fully retiring from baseball, he moved to Dallas, Texas, to work as a salesman." Source: "The Kansas native left baseball and moved to Dallas, TX, where he worked as a salesman."
 * Article: "He died on August 9, 1937 in Dallas due to a heat stroke, with alcoholism as a contributing factor." Source: "He died of heat stroke with alcoholism a contributing cause."  Cbl62 (talk) 00:11, 2 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Article: "Cooley later became an alcoholic and divorced his wife, Louise." Source: "Cooley was divorced from his ex-wife, Louise ..." I have stricken the third example, as I think it's fine after giving it a second look. Cbl62 (talk) 00:21, 2 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Reworded. Albacore (talk) 00:24, 2 August 2011 (UTC)