Template talk:Did you know/Michel Demazure

Michel Demazure

 * ... that Michel Demazure, a mathematician from the pseudonymous Nicolas Bourbaki group, led two French science museums, the Palais de la Découverte and the Cité des Sciences et de l'Industrie?
 * Reviewed: Gloria (Handel)

Created by Unusduotres (talk). Nominated by David Eppstein (talk) at 06:27, 29 July 2011 (UTC) Please add a comment and signature (or just a signature if endorsing) after each aspect you have reviewed:

Hook
 * Length, format, content rules: –MuZemike 21:00, 5 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Source: See below. –MuZemike 21:00, 5 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Interest: –MuZemike 21:00, 5 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Image suitability, if applicable: N/A –MuZemike 21:00, 5 August 2011 (UTC)
 * ALT hooks, if proposed: N/A –MuZemike 21:00, 5 August 2011 (UTC)

Article
 * Length: –MuZemike 21:00, 5 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Vintage: N/A
 * Sourcing (V, RS, BLP): –MuZemike 21:00, 5 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Neutrality: –MuZemike 21:00, 5 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Plagiarism/close paraphrasing: –MuZemike 21:00, 5 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Copyvio: –MuZemike 21:00, 5 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Obvious faults in prose, structure, formatting: After correcting a few basic comma usage (or lack of) errors, prose looks fine. –MuZemike 21:00, 5 August 2011 (UTC)

Comments/discussion: there are discrepancies in what the hook says versus what the article says, versus what the source says; the hook says he was a director at the Cité des Sciences et de l'Industrie, but the article says he was the president, and moreover, the source says he was chairman. This needs to be clarified further, or otherwise alter the hook accordingly. –MuZemike 21:00, 5 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Please read more carefully. The hook does not say he was the "director" (a name of a title), it says he "directed" (a description of an action). If you want to replace "directed" by some vaguer near-synonym such as as "lead" or "ran", I don't mind, but it would make the hook too long and tedious to spell out his precise job title at each place. In any case, there are two sources (the book cover bio and the Echos news story); one says chairman and the other says président for the Cité des sciences. But perhaps "chairman" is a more accurate English translation than "president" of the French word "président", so the sources may not be in as much conflict as they appear. I will at least change the article text to use "chairman".—David Eppstein (talk) 21:42, 5 August 2011 (UTC)
 * I think "led" would be good for the hook; at least it will distance from the conflicting sources. –MuZemike 21:51, 5 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Ok, I've changed the hook to that. —David Eppstein (talk) 21:54, 5 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Symbol confirmed.svg OK, I don't have any other issues. Looks good. –MuZemike 22:10, 5 August 2011 (UTC)