The Eroticist

The Eroticist (Nonostante le apparenze... e purchè la nazione non lo sappia... all'onorevole piacciono le donne) is a 1972 Italian commedia sexy all'italiana film directed (and co-written) by Lucio Fulci. It had censorship problems and was banned shortly after its release. Later it was released in a heavily cut version and prohibited for persons under 18 years.

Plot
Italian senator Gianni Puppis arrives at Leonardo da Vinci Airport to greet the female president of the Republic of Urania. Puppis, a contender for the Italian presidency, is captured on film furtively groping her bottom as she greets the press. No one notices the incident, and the victim is unsure who was responsible due to the crowd gathered around her.

Still photos of the incident fall into the hands of Father Lucian, a Catholic priest and college friend of Puppis. Lucian arranges a meeting with the bemused Puppis in a confessional booth and demands blackmail money in exchange for the pictures. Puppis is furious but mystified, for he cannot remember anything about the incident; he refuses to pay. That night, Puppis has a strange dream in which a naked young woman beckons him, superimposed over the circular plaza of St. Peter's Basilica and the Vatican.

Puppis calls Lucian and offers him the money. In return, Lucian offers to arrange a consultation with a psychiatrist. During the session, Puppis describes his recent affliction: his dreams and waking thoughts center around behinds, primarily female ones, despite being Puppis being a homosexual with an open preference for young men. Behinds fill his thoughts and even precipitate black-outs, during which he commits acts of bottom-pinching. Puppis vows to maintain his self-control, but later that day his hands wander while standing behind a young lady in an elevator at the Senate offices.

The next day, Puppis announces that he is going on a "spiritual retreat" until the results of the elections are announced. Lucian drives the frantic politician into the countryside, stopping at a filling station to get gas. Puppis experiences a veritable barrage of ladies' bottoms at the filling station forecourt. Before Lucian can stop him, he lurches over to one tartan-frocked figure bent over to examine the car's engine, only to find himself face to face with a furious kilt-wearing Scotsman.

Later that day, Lucian and Puppis finally arrive at a cloister run by his friend Father Schirer, a priest and psychiatrist. However, Puppis is drunk after consuming several bottles of liquor he bought at the rest stop. Schirer informs the barely conscious man that his many skilled nurses will help him, all of whom are young and beautiful nuns. That night, Schirer is woken up when one of the nurses assigned to watch over Puppis is grabbed on her bottom by the sleeping Puppis. He tells the nun that she must remain still until morning, as waking the patient would be too traumatic.

Back in Rome, Puppis' absence is the subject of heated discussions among his political opponents, the Italian military, and the Vatican secret police, who learn of his relationship with Lucian through bugged telephone conversations. Cardinal Maravigili, an influential clergyman and patron of Puppis, is enraged at the possible scandal upon watching film of the airport incident.

At the cloister, Puppis describes a dream to Schirer while under hypnosis, including visions of the Garden of Eden where foliage bursts with naked female bottoms. The following night, Puppis sleepwalks to Schirer's room and molests him while he is asleep. Protecting his vow of chastity, Schirer wakes up the randy senator. Once fully awake, Puppis realizes his actions and professes to feel much better, claiming his dreams have liberated his mind. HE returns to Rome full of optimism about his apparent cure the following morning. However, back at the cloister, Schirer takes confession from the nuns and discovers that Puppis' rampaging sexual dreams have been enacted for real.

An angry Schirer arrives at Puppis' house and demands an explanation. He is forced to hide when Cardinal Maravigili comes unexpectedly to meet Puppis. Hiding in the bathroom in a shower cubicle, Schirer suffers a fatal heart attack when he thinks Maravigili will walk in. Unaware of Schirer's sudden demise, Puppis leaves with Maravigili to attend a garden party. After experiencing erotic visions, Puppis swiftly seduces the French ambassador's wife in the bushes. Back at Puppis' house, Puppis' chauffeur, Carmelino, discovers Schirer's body and rushes to tell Puppis, only to be abducted by Don Gesualdo, the mafioso leading the Vatican secret police.

Returning home, Puppis is met by Sister Hildergarde, the only one of the cloistered order not to have been ravished by him. Begging him to relieve her of temptation and simultaneously scolding him for wickedness, she implores that they whip each for their sins. Just as the twisted couple gets down to it, the Vatican thugs arrive. Puppis and Hildergarde escape through a back window.

Hiding out in a motel room, Puppis and Sister Hildegarde are tracked down, and Don Gesualdo and his thugs take her away. Cardinal Maravigli confronts Puppis in the motel room, and he tells the Cardinal that he wants out of politics. But the Cardinal replies that there will be none of that talk. Too much time and effort have been expended behind the scenes to hoist Puppis into position. The Cardinal takes Puppis into the bowels of the Vatican to view waxworks of recently canonized saints. They include Carmelino and Father Lucian, as well as Father Schirer. The threat to Puppis is made explicit when he is told to look carefully at an unfinished rough wax model. Staring at the shapeless features, Puppis imagines a waxwork of himself. When Senator Torsello dies the next day in a "plane crash," Puppis is declared the winner of the election by default.

At a ceremony to accept his appointment as president, Puppis genuflects before a wax statue of Hildegarde. As he gives his inaugural address on live television, a customer in a local bar switches the channel to a game show.

Cast

 * Lando Buzzanca: Giacinto 'Gianni' Puppis
 * Lionel Stander: Cardinal Maravidi
 * Laura Antonelli: Sister Hildegarde
 * Renzo Palmer: Father Lucion
 * Corrado Gaipa: Don Gesualdo
 * Agostina Belli: Sister Brunhilde
 * Feodor Chaliapin Jr.: Senator Torsello
 * Francis Blanche: Father Schirer
 * Eva Czemerys: Fantasy Woman
 * José Quaglio: Pietro Fornari
 * Arturo Dominici: His Excellency
 * Anita Strindberg: French Ambassador's Wife
 * Aldo Puglisi: Carmelino

Reception
An Italian contemporary review states that "It is an indecent and stupid farce, that has nothing to do with political satire." and that it "lacks all sense of sharpness in humour, everything being marked with the seal of the most unhealthy and vulgar taste".