The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything

The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything is a collection of television comedy sketches, produced in 1999, broadcast in two parts on 2 and 4 January 2000 on BBC One. Based on well-known historical events, it took its title and concept from the 1969 London Weekend Television series The Complete and Utter History of Britain.

The Ages of Man
A version of the class sketch which had previously been broadcast as part of the BBC Millennium programme on 31 December 1999.
 * Ronnie Barker – Renaissance Man
 * Ronnie Corbett – Medieval Man
 * Stephen Fry – Modern Man

1066
The Battle of Hastings staged and described in the style of a modern football match, a version of a sketch from The Complete and Utter History of Britain.
 * Clive Anderson – Archbishop of Canterbury
 * Ray Clemence – Ray Clemence the Younger
 * George Cohen – Master George Cohen
 * James Fleet – William of Normandy
 * Archie Gemmill – Archie Gemmill, currently in exile
 * David Gower – Lord Gower
 * Ricky Grover – Aberforth
 * Alan Hansen – Lord Alan Hansen
 * Geoff Hurst – Sir Geoffrey of Hurst
 * Gary Lineker – Lord Gary Lineker
 * Rory McGrath – King Harold II
 * Peter Osgood – Squire Peter Osgoode
 * Martin Peters – Lord Martin Peters
 * Steve Punt – French soldier
 * Peter Shilton – Peter of Shilton
 * Rupert Vansittart – Bishop of Cardiff

Geordie of the Antarctic
A parody of Scott of the Antarctic.
 * Amanda Holden – Geordie's girlfriend
 * Bob Mortimer – Geordie
 * Vic Reeves – Captain Scott

The First Spin Doctor

 * Martin Clunes – King Henry V
 * Angus Deayton – Lord Mandelson
 * Martin Trenaman

Treaty of Westphalia

 * Patrick Barlow – Advisor
 * Robert Bathurst – English Ambassador
 * James Dreyfus – Swedish Ambassador
 * Stephen Fry – Ambassador
 * Hugh Laurie – French Ambassador

Marriage Guidance

 * Brian Blessed – King Henry VIII
 * Jack Dee – Marriage guidance counsellor
 * Julia Sawalha – Catherine Parr

The Nice-But-Dim Family

 * Adam Blackwood – Norman
 * Richard Briers – Highway robbery victim
 * Tim Brooke-Taylor – Earl of Sandwich
 * Peter Davison – Duke of Wellington
 * Harry Enfield – Tim Norse-But-Dim / Sir Timothy Nice-Butte D'imme / Sir Timothy the Lionbrain / Dim Turpin / Major-General Sir Timothy Nice-But-Dim / Midshipman Nice-But-Dim
 * Jessica Stevenson – Woman with Black Death Victim
 * Natasha Little – Lady Lionbrain
 * Spike Milligan – Admiral Lord Nelson
 * Nigel Planer – Lord Cardigan
 * Steve Punt – Lord Tampax
 * Barbara Windsor – Highway robbery victim

Philosophy of a Hairdresser

 * Thora Hird – Ida
 * Victoria Wood – Moira

Body Zone

 * Joan Bakewell – Herself
 * Dawn French – Egg
 * Jennifer Saunders – Egg

A Victorian Evening

 * James Fleet – Mr Parsons
 * Geraldine McNulty – Mrs Richards
 * Trevor Peacock – Colonel
 * Caroline Quentin – Lady Butterworth

Explorers Explorers Explorers

 * Robert Bathurst – Francis Drake
 * Peter Davison – Ferdinand Magellan
 * Angus Deayton – Sir Walter Raleigh

Holby Village Hospital

 * Jack Dee – Dr Barber
 * Gary Olsen – Mr Baker

Early British Comedy

 * Matthew Ashforde – Reginald
 * Helena Bonham Carter – Lily
 * Neil Morrissey – Director
 * Caroline Quentin – Marcia Bournemouth
 * Richard Wilson – Monty DeLauncy

When Columbo discovered America

 * Gareth Hale – Christopher Columbo
 * Norman Pace – King Ferdinand

Looking Forwards

 * Lenny Henry – Deakus
 * Clive Mantle – Dr Mike Barrat