Three Obediences and Four Virtues

The Three Obediences and Four Virtues (Tam tòng, tứ đức) is a set of moral principles and social code of behavior for maiden and married women in East Asian Confucianism, especially in ancient and imperial China. Women were to obey their fathers, husbands, and sons, and to be modest and moral in their actions and speech. Some imperial eunuchs both observed these principles themselves and enforced them in imperial harems, aristocratic households, and society at large.

Terminology
The two terms ("three obediences" and "four virtues") first appeared in the Book of Etiquette and Ceremonial and in the Rites of Zhou respectively, which codified the protocol for an elegant and refined culture for Chinese civilization. The protocol was originally meant to define the various parts of a harmonious society and was not intended as a rule book. This code had a strong impact on ancient and imperial China. It went on to influence other East Asian civilizations, such as Japan and Korea, and prescribed East Asian social and philosophical thought even into the twentieth century.

Three Feminine Obediences
The Three Obediences instruct that a woman is obligated not to act on her own initiatives and must submissively obey or follow:


 * 1) her father at home, before getting married (or )
 * 2) her husband after getting married (or )
 * 3) her sons after her husband's death

Four Feminine Virtues
The Four Feminine Virtues are:


 * 1) Feminine Conduct
 * 2) Feminine Speech
 * 3) Feminine Comportment
 * 4) Feminine Works

Ban Zhao (49–120 CE), the first known female Chinese historian, elaborated on these in her treatise Lessons for Women :

"Speaking about these four, woman's virtue requires neither unparalleled talents nor exceeding brilliance; woman's speech requires neither rhetorical eloquence nor sharp words; woman's appearance requires neither a beautiful nor a splendid look or form; woman's work demands no unsurpassable skills. Exhibit tranquility (you 幽 [/ qing 清]), unhurried composure (xian 閒/閑), chastity (zhen 貞), and quietude (jing 靜). Safeguard the integrity (jie 節) of regulations. Keep things in an orderly manner. Guard one's action with a sense of shame. In movement and rest, it is always done in proper measure. This is what is meant by woman's virtue. Choose words [carefully] (ze ci 擇辭) when speaking. Never utter slanderous words. Speak only when the time is right; then, others will not dislike one's utterances. This is what is meant by woman's speech. Wash (guan wan 盥浣) clothes that are dusty and soiled, and keep one's clothing and accessories always fresh and clean. Bathe regularly, and keep one's body free from filth and disgrace. This is what is meant by woman's bearing. Concentrate on one's weaving and spinning. Love no silly play nor laughter. Prepare wine and food neatly and orderly to offer to the guests. This is what is meant by woman's work."