User:@pple/@pple

Definition of @pple (not that she is definable)
'Apple' or, otherwise, @pple, is a nickname which is coming into popularity in the UK, specifically in the Havant area.

It is usually ascribed to someone who you think is too lovelly for other more lowly nicknames, such as those of the vegetable variety, e.g. in context: 'hi, potato, how you doing?', which are generally given to those of a scrubby nature with dirt on their noses (Ronald, honestly).

Similarly, there are other traits associated with @ppleism, such as being highly eccentric and kooky, having a fondness for smokebombs, an affinity with fire and a very strange (and totally justifiable)love of men in eyeliner.

Stemming from this perhaps, is the most easily identifiable @pple trait: that of being 'totally obsessed with' pirates, ('That's not true, I am not obsessed with treasure!' 'Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate...').

Finally, the most important criteria for being termed an @pple is having a corresponding Pear. This allows that the @pple herself will not become too big-headed by being(obviously!) 'Everbody's favourite fruit' by ensuring that she must always have a Pear to be her own favourite fruit, thereby stabilising the entire @pple economy and, consequently, the world. ''Some critics have mentioned: 'one might almost say that the Pear is the hero of the whole thing, really. Certainly, through years of research, we have found that the Pear generally has a huge affinity with amazingly super-powered fictional characters (an effect which is only heightened if the aforementioned is wearing eyeliner, exhibiting here an aspect of the odd mutual rapport between the @pple and her corresponding Pear), and this points to the idea that an @pple and her Pear have a hitherto unrealised potential for superb feats of eccentric brilliance. I, for one, am very excited about this discovery, which we have made in the last two years, and if the government would only get their heads out of their arses and give us more funding...*grumblemumbleCorneliusbliddyFudgegrumblemumble*'''

'''Currently, there has only been one documented case of a true @pple and her Pear, sighted in Havant and often in Chichester in ritual pirate splendour, and so they remain unique in every way. It is thought by many experts in the malepirumology field that this is the way they will remain forever.'''

Examples of usage in context
'Dear @pple,' at the beginning of a letter by snailmail... 'Oi! @pple!', frequently used to holler at someone over large distances... 'ARGH! Bliddy hell, @pple!', used as a phrase of utmost terror when an @pple sticks their head up behind the Circle and scares a Pear silly.