User:1013-Brendan/archive

My Project
My plan is to expand the stub Cave of the Mounds. I would like to add more information about the cave to this stub and make it a full article. Considering that this cave is designated as a National Natural Landmark it deserves a full article. I could use other caves such as Mammoth Cave, Marengo Cave, Wyandotte Caves, Carlsbad Caverns, and Lechuguilla Cave as models for my article. I'm planning to include links to the various minerals found in the cave such as limestone, dolomite, onyx, and calcite. I will also link to Ebenezer Brigham who settled the area.


 * Thoughts from Josh. Brendan, this sounds like a good project, and you have many cave articles you can use as models. Remember, your final article needs to be 1500-2000 words of concise encyclopedic material. Will you be able to find enough material? Will you be able to find references other than the Cave of the Mounds website? Please format your lists with bullet points. If you have any questions about your project proposal, write me a note here, and write "QUESTION FOR JOSH" in the edit summary box when you hit the "save page" button. I'll stop by later to answer. 1013-josh 20:35, 17 April 2007 (UTC)

Workshop: Cave of the Mounds
Workshop Guidelines

Hi, I've nominated an article you worked on, Cave of the Mounds, for consideration to appear on the Main Page as part of Did you know. You can see the "hook" for the article at Template talk:Did you know where you can improve it if you see fit. 1013-josh 22:13, 30 April 2007 (UTC)

This is a well-organized article that does a good job of giving us the relevant information about the site, including the history and the geology. It has one large flaw, in that you are relying on the cave's website for nearly all of your information. All of the history has already been predigested there, and basically all you have to to do is transfer it over. By taking that shortcut, you're avoiding the difficult work of researching and writing an encyclopedia entry on the cave. The problem is that your article basically becomes an extended promotion for the tourist attraction. According to Wikipedia's policies, you need multiple independent sources for your information. You should also strive to locate the original source. For example, you cite the cave's website for the fact that "The Chicago Academy of Sciences considers the Cave of the Mounds to be 'the significant cave of the upper Midwest' because of its beauty." If that's true, and I don't doubt it, then you should be going to the original source for the citation. Go find the where the Chicago Academy of Sciences wrote that, and then quote that source. Don't rely on the cave's website. You have many evaluative statements in the lead section ("thought of as being the most beautiful cave," "jewel box," etc.) that need to referenced by sources other than the cave's website. [User:1013-josh|1013-josh]] 09:00, 2 May 2007 (UTC)

You're on the Main Page!

Hi Brendan, your article is currently featured on the Main Page of Wikipedia in the "Did You Know?" fact box. It will be up there for the next 6+ hours. You may get some strangers stopping by your article as a result, so check the page history. 1013-josh 19:08, 3 May 2007 (UTC)

Hi Brendan,
 * After reading through your article, I found that overall it satisfies the sort of encyclopedic writing style that we are shooting for with this assignment. It is very informative and includes many specific details and interesting facts about the Cave of the Mounds. Each section has substantial support backing it up, which is definitely a strength of your paper. One thing I noticed right away in terms of revisions were the "citation needed" links that somebody must have put in when they stopped by your page. This is a dead give-away that maybe your wording is borderline to plagiarism in those areas, so you will want to consider citing the proper references. As for revisions that I have made so far, I undid the red wikilinks that have no corresponding site on wikipedia, corrected grammatical mistakes, reworded a few sentences, and fixed up the references a bit. Also, I think that you might have too much grouped under each of your headings, because there are only three headings in the entire paper. I'm not quite sure how you want to break up the history section, but I thought the formations section could have sub-headings for each of the different varieties if you find a little bit more information to write about each of those. This would be interesting because most people go to caves to see the cool formations. You can check out the history page to see my revisions and I might make a few more as time allows. As a whole, this is a great start on the article and I wish you the best of luck with final revisions! 1013-Lisa 07:00, 4 May 2007 (UTC)

Hey Brendan, Your article provided me with strong, professional, and trusting information. It seemed well-researched. I like the detail you put into how the limestone forms and what kind of formations or shapes it can make. The introduction was also very appealing to me. If I were a random reader, it would have sucked me into continue reading. It also does not have much "flowery" writing to interfere with actual article. It definitely needs some expansion. Tomorrow I will get you some extra links that may help. I have a day full of research time to help out. Another thing that stuck out to me was that in your tourist section you have the location of the cave. I would recommend putting that in the beginning so that the reader can have that knowledge right off the bat. The tourist section is really helpful to researchers, so a little expansion on that may be worthy. You have a great start and a smart sounding article. Good job on citations as well. I will contact you tomorrow on grammarical stuff (I thought I was an overlooker on that, but I'm not sure so I'll do it anyways). Great job! 1013-shae 03:38, 5 May 2007 (UTC)

Hey, I love Cave of the Mounds!!!I've been there before and it is awesome. Which brings me to my next topic, your paper which describes it to a tee. Your paper was well informative and I enjoyed reading about something I can relate to! One thing I noticed was your paragraphs seem really long. I know you have separated them but maybe if you could put a little subheading on them it would help to define what you are describing. I think if people read your article it would give them a close understanding of what to expect when visiting the Cave of the Mounds. Good job and good luck on your final revision! 1013-rey 19:18, 8 May 2007 (UTC)

Participation
Corrected a sentence in Shae's article 1013-Brendan 16:59, 30 April 2007 (UTC)

Gave a single paragraph of response to Lisa's article 1013-Brendan 18:13, 3 May 2007 (UTC)

Gave a single paragraph of response to Shae's article 1013-Brendan 18:44, 3 May 2007 (UTC)

Gave a single paragraph of response to Loree's article 1013-Brendan 20:36, 3 May 2007 (UTC)

Homework
Assignment 1 done 1013-Brendan 21:02, 14 April 2007 (UTC)

Assignment 2 done, edited The Truman Show 1013-Brendan 22:51, 16 April 2007 (UTC)


 * Good work. Remember to add a comment to the edit summary box to make it easier for other users to follow your changes. You may want to add this page to your watchlist so you can see what becomes of your changes. 1013-josh 05:47, 18 April 2007 (UTC)

I consent to the project privacy and copyright details. 1013-Brendan 16:51, 20 April 2007 (UTC)


 * Okay, great! Let me know at any time if you change your mind and would like to switch to an off-line research assignment. 1013-josh 18:31, 20 April 2007 (UTC)

Assignment done 1013-Brendan 18:17, 22 April 2007 (UTC)


 * Looks like you're off to a good start, but your bibliography is very thin. You'll need more sources. There should be some newspaper articles and government documents out there, so let's see what you can dig up. For the rough draft due Friday, you will want to include the text from the Cave of the Mounds stub. 1013-josh 20:30, 22 April 2007 (UTC)

1000 word assignment done 1013-Brendan

Final draft complete 1013-Brendan 06:30, 10 May 2007 (UTC)

Notes from Josh & the Class
Hey, I just posted some helpful research links; don't miss them! 1013-josh 21:33, 18 April 2007 (UTC)

Welcome!
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