User:11boba/Golf Wang/Thaonguyen050300 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User 11boba / Golf Wang


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:11boba/Golf Wang


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Golf Wang

Evaluate the drafted changes
The article is pretty interesting, and it seems there's so much more depth as well as diverse aspects of the store, especially the brand creator that the author could provide more information about, and elaborate in the article. It's great that the author started drafting out the key beneficial points from the original article & developing from those with more supporting facts and updated news about the brand.

Lead Section

I found that the author wants to improve the article lead section, to make it clearer and easy to read & understand, which is a good point. The lead section of the original article may appear confusing with lots of details and jumping facts all around, rather than focusing on the main topic about Golf Wang.

Content

The content flow can be improved by giving like a course of the brand development, instead of different sub-brands or collaborations that may overwhelm the readers and distract them from the main point, Golf Wang.

Tone & Balance

No comment.

Sources & References

I am not quite so sure about the validation of fashion news website, or articles, to be used as references.

Organization

Content structure can be improved.

The balance of the topics should be revised. Currently, Gold le Fleur is filled with lots of dates and information, which outweigh the other topics such as Fashion Shows, or Collaborations, especially the Lead Section. The author could mention about the flow of the content in the lead section, so that it elevates the level of reader engament.

Images & Media

More image could be added to help visualize different sub-brands, pictures of the fashion shows & brand collaborations.

Overall impressions

The article has a lot of room for improvement in terms of structure, visualization & discussed topics regarding the brand.