User:3113N3113N/Humanitarian crisis/RYNOT1206 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

3113N3113N


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:3113N3113N/sandbox
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Humanitarian crisis

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think this is structured well for the most part. I feel that there is too much in the first paragraph. It might be smoother if that first paragraph was split into two with a brief intro and then one that details NGOs. The transitions seem fine and smooth. There seems to be an issue with the citations. I see two notes both numbered as 1 in the 3rd paragraph of the text. I did notice that there weren't many citations so maybe look into that. It seems like there is a lot to say about this topic. To keep it concise, it may help to go through it and cut things down a bit. Find places where 10 words could replace 20. Like, maybe just mention the Rohingya in Myanmar and including the link instead of explaining too much detail about what happened. Overall, I think it's really good. As far as the subheading, Do you need tp specify that it's man-made? Could you just address it as the role NGOs play in management? I think it's fine anyway, but maybe that'll help?