User:412DRS/Cosmo Kramer/Mallory Dixon Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

412DRS


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Cosmo Kramer


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Cosmo Kramer

Kramer's Best Quotes
For your section on Kramer's Best Quotes, I worry this might be taken down due to bias. I think maybe rephrasing the title to something else or even just removing the word "Best" would help a bit more. I really like this section and think it is funny and creative. It would just be a shame if someone tried to get it taken down due to bias. Adding a slight intro before you list off quotes like saying how the popular quotes enter mainstream culture. You could also say how these quotes showcase the personality that was talked about in the article. I worry the source you use isn't quite a respectable source. Just be cautious, I do like this section and think it would be fun to have in the article. Also, one source is using Wikisein fandom as a source and Dr. Vetter said that won't be allowed. I think this article is definitely difficult for finding sources. I also think it is great that you add all the wiki links to the episode pages as well.

Personality
For your personality section, do you plan to add this to the beginning? I would just make sure wherever you add it in that it flows well with what is already written. This is where the Wikisein fandom source problem comes into play. I tried to look up sources to help but it is very difficult. I also feel like the first two sentences could be combined into one. "Kramer has conflicting personality traits where he is sometimes shallow, callous, and indifferent." A quick thing to fix in the second sentence, you can remove the comma after "to help total strangers, and." That comma isn't necessary. "His quirkiness, strange body movements and frequent gibberish mutterings have become his trademark." Add a comma after body movements. I think your edit has a lot of bias. Saying he is the friendliest and most popular is more opinionated and I feel like it's because of the source you used. I think if you get rid of that and maybe say that because he is such a friendly character, he has the most friends out of the cast. He also is so well liked by Jerrys parents that he calls them once a week as if he were their own son. (Obviously you don't have to say that word for word, but I wanted to give you an example of what I meant.)

Physical Movements
Some of the sentences I think need just the smallest amount of editing. Just to make them flow a little better. From what I can tell, I know they weren't a part of what you added to the section, but it would benefit the article. Maybe something like this would work. Kramer and Newman had been playing the game Risk for a while. When they were done playing the game, Kramer drops it off at Jerry's apartment. Before he puts the game onto the table, he clears the table with his leg and papers going flying off. Kramer then spills the coffee on himself when he was about to sit down, burning himself in the process.