User:4realtraveler/Netflix/JAVermont Peer Review

General info
FamousMonster13
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:4realtraveler/Netflix
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Netflix

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

The lead was updated to reflect what was added to the content of the article, with a good introductory sentence making it clear what will later be talked about. The addition to the lead seems too detailed, as the Lead section is meant to be read very quickly to see what the article is about. However, the information in this section is all very related to the topic so I feel you could rearrange some of the information from the lead into the content section.

Content

The content that is added is relevant to Netflix’s commitment to sustainability, with up-to-date information. The information provided is organized well, with good topic sentences introducing each new paragraph, and once you add the two paragraphs that you have outlined it will be a good amount of information. Like I said in the Lead section, I do feel that you could add to the content by rearranging the information in the Lead section but overall, this looks good.

Tone and Balance

While there is content with a lot of information about what Netflix is doing to address sustainability, it seems to be somewhat biased. When reading through the content section it almost feels like a pitch from Netflix about what they are trying to do to address climate change rather than addressing facts and studies from third party groups, which could take a more critical view of Netflix’s carbon footprint.

Sources and References

There is a lot of good information that is taken from sources; however those sources aren’t backed by a secondary source. Also, the sources are current and updated which is good, however they are from Netflix’s account which could lead to biased information and doesn’t give a diverse spectrum of authors. Looking into some peer reviewed sources would also be very beneficial for the paper.

Organization

Organizationally this paper is really well written, there are clear topic sentences and logic behind the order of paragraphs. There is also really good word choice and there aren’t any grammatical errors.

Images and Media

There could be some use of images, like a picture of a film set that shows how electricity is used. However, I don’t feel that there needs to be pictures because the point is made clearly on its own.

Overall

Overall, the addition to the article adds a lot of depth to the article as a whole because, climate change and the company’s sustainability goals aren’t talked about in the article otherwise. After you find some information from other sources, I think this addition to the article will be very beneficial.