User:77lemonpie/sandbox

Birds L01/sandbox

Janet Group Evaluation

Article Used: 77lemonpie (talk) 06:03, 26 February 2021 (UTC)

Lamprey

We noticed on the Lamprey page that there are many sources that the link does not work, specifically in the list of species section Brownkr (talk) 19:26, 23 February 2021 (UTC)

Group Discussion In our group (Kelly, Janet, and Cyah) we discussed what we thought content gaps are, how to identify them, and possible remedies. We believe content gaps in wikipedia is when the information a user is looking for cannot be found, there is misinformation, or there are holes in the information. To identify content gaps we thought to look for biased information, limited to no sources, contradicting information on the topic, and limited information in general. Reasons content gaps may arise could be due to the lack of time an editor had to work on the page, editors are unaware how to use wikipedia, or the lack of research on the given topic. Remedies to limit content gaps could be having more editors, making sure scholarly sources are used, asking for help if needed, and doing thorough research on a topic. Does it matter who writes on Wikipedia? We don't think it matters who writes and edits for wikipedia, as long as they have a neutral stance, include scholarly sources, and are thorough with their work. What does it mean to be "unbiased"? The information presented is based on facts, scholarly research, and personal opinions are not included. Brownkr (talk) 23:32, 24 February 2021 (UTC)

Individual Evaluation On the classification section of the Lamprey page there are some pieces of information that need cited sources to check if the writing is correct. For example, the first paragraph giving the whole overview of the taxonomy of lampreys is thorough but without a source it can't be verified and it's not properly credited if the writer used a source and not their own knowledge. This also occurs in the third paragraph, the debate about naming the taxa. There isn't a source attached that verifies this historical information that's relevant to the development of its classification, making the information unreliable. 77lemonpie (talk) 06:20, 26 February 2021 (UTC)

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Week 3
Group Discussion

–Blog posts and press releases are considered poor sources of reliable information. Why? They are most likely to be paid to paint the subject of their articles in a positive light or aim to draw popularity and attention instead of the truth. They are a type of news source that can be misinformed and biased to fit their company/personal objectives in the industry. -What are some reasons you might not want to use a company's website as the main source of information about that company? It would be biased and it's without a doubt they only want to present themselves in a positive light. This would omit any negative information that would damage their reputation. -What is the difference between a copyright violation and plagiarism? Copyright violation is the misuse of the copyright guidelines proposed by the person who created the piece even if you credit them, such as using it for sale when they said they wouldn't allow it. Plagiarism is when no credit or sources are cited to the information, making it seem like you were the own who did the work when someone else did. -What are some good techniques to avoid close paraphrasing and plagiarism? Read the article and take notes in your own words, don't have the source opened as you draft so you won't unintentionally follow the sentence structure, causing close paraphrasing. Fully understand the document on your own to avoid close paraphrasing and make sure to correctly cite the course to avoid plagiarism in this way. 77lemonpie (talk) 19:09, 2 March 2021 (UTC)

Individual Assignment (Option 1: Copyedit)

Some editing suggestions for the Lamprey page would be the language/structure and scientific content:


 * 1) For example, the beginning explaining the etymology, if the Latin meanings are correct and lamprey is derived from lampetra, it would be misleading to suggest that this isn't necessarily true. This isn't good in science if the subject's name used for the article is up for debate. A sentence that says it's nevertheless the accepted name would explain its relevant uncertainty and doesn't cast doubt on the whole section's research/understanding. Same goes for the physical attributes, saying "...may be characterized by a toothed, funnel-like sucking mouth.", which is true. It suggests there are other defining characteristics, which aren't listed, an elaboration or consensus is necessary here. If lamprey is the plural form "sometimes seen", what are other ways? What is the correct way to call them?

" The adult lamprey may be characterized by a toothed, funnel-like sucking mouth. The common name "lamprey" is probably derived from Latin lampetra, which may mean "stone licker" (lambere "to lick" + petra "stone"), though the etymology is uncertain.[3] The plural form lamprey is sometimes seen.[4]" →''Suggested Edit: Adult lamprey are characterized by a toothed, funnel shaped mouth. The etymology is debated but scientists agree on lamprey because in Latin lambere is "to lick" and petra is "stone", therefore lamprey is derived from lampetra.''

Some section areas could use some reorganization:

"There are about 38 known extant species of lampreys and five known extinct species.[5] Parasitic carnivorous species are the most well-known, and feed by boring into the flesh of other fish to suck their blood;[6] but only 18 species of lampreys engage in this micropredatory lifestyle.[7][8] Of the 18 carnivorous species, nine migrate from saltwater to freshwater to breed (some of them also have freshwater populations), and nine live exclusively in freshwater. All non-carnivorous forms are freshwater species.[9] Adults of the non-carnivorous species do not feed; they live off reserves acquired as ammocoetes (larvae), which they obtain through filter feeding. " →''Suggested Edit: There about 38 known extant species and 5 extinct species, which only 18 are carnivorous. The most researched species are carnivorous, more specifically micropredatory (feed off of the blood of fish they bore into). Non-carnivorous lamprey feed from the reserves acquired through filter feeding (collecting particles in the endostyle from water it sucks in) as ammocoetes (larvae). The 18 carnivorous species can be differentiated by their breeding styles, 9 migrate between saltwater and freshwater to breed, the others only dwell in freshwater. Non-carnivorous lamprey are all exclusively freshwater dwellers.
 * 1) From the page, it seems lampreys are divided into 2 groups, carnivorous and non-carnivorous. Carnivorous ones can either migrate from freshwater to saltwater to breed or be solely freshwater, are micropredatory. All non-carnivorous are freshwater and filter feed. There are 38 surviving species, 5 extinct. The article's wording makes it hard to understand, needing multiple reads, which is harder for people unfamiliar to biology. Section the information by broader concepts and move onto distinctions. It's easier to understand how lampreys are divided by lifestyles (therefore into species) if each idea is introduced one by one in a similar fashion, not jumping back and forth.

————————————————————————————————————— END —————————————————————————————————————————————  (I separated editing into areas of focus for the page. If I was officially drafting it to post onto the talk page I would continue numbering more edits in their proper area of focus. Everything above for my individual assignment is how I would've entered it onto the talk page, but I'll only put it here because I don't feel confident on my contribution. I do see people discussing/questioning what I asked for more information on in my first area and wanted to just focus on the grammar/readability for my edits.)  77lemonpie (talk) 09:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)

Feedback

 * This looks great and I love how you are getting into the habit of signing all of your entries
 * This coming week, you are going to choose the page/pages that will take up most of your editing focus for the semester. These can evolve/change, but the pages that you show interest in will help guide the group I put you in
 * Take a look at the "Animal Anatomy" list of pages that I linked to as well as the specific pages I posted in this week's timeline as you choose.
 * For your suggestions on additions and/ or edits, one thing to ALWAYS do it to check other pages that may have that content first. So perhaps a link to the specific page describing that structure or group of structures is a better idea.
 * One KEY think about Wikipedia is that you never want to duplicate content from one page to another. Do you think that there might be some links to other pages here that would help? I like these ideas for edits. I would encourage you to post at least one to the talk page to see if a Wikipedian has suggestions or feedback for you. If I had to pick one, I might choose the re-organization one. Osquaesitor (talk) 21:45, 8 March 2021 (UTC)

Week 4
Individual Assignment (Top 3 Articles)


 * 1)  Shoebill → I've heard about how shoebills are a quite close modern relative to dinosaurs and would like to know why that is, their appearance is fascinating and I would like to start a section that details the prehistoric past to today's shoebill.
 * 2)  Cassowary → I also want to learn more about them because they share similar characteristics to raptors and have a unique color and look, there's a lot of information without cited sources and I'm willing to help cross-link/edit the page.
 * 3)  Pangolin → I've always wondered what sets them apart from armadillos since they share similar defense mechanisms and the behavior section for the page isn't big, what's already there could be expanded on.  77lemonpie (talk) 05:21, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

Week 6
Individual Assignment (First Draft of Syrinx for Bird anatomy Page) 

Syrinx


Unlike other vertebrate birds have both a layrnx and syrinx, with the syrinx being exclusive to birds. Birds use the syrinx to create sounds rather than the larynx due to it's superior sound quality. This led to the syrinx being developed despite possessing a layrnx and a key feature that separates the bird from other vertebrate.

There are two key aspects that maintained the syrinx's advantages over the larynx: the location and sound output.

The syrinx sits lower (caudal) along the trachea and lower than the pharynx. The effort needed to produce sound is called "phonation threshold pressure", which is the minimum amount of lung pressure that makes the tissue vibrate. The syrinx's lower placement in the trachea requires a bigger phonation threshold pressure than the larynx, but the output of sound through the syrinx is better. After passing through the syrinx/larynx, sound travels through the trachea. The syrinx's increased effort to create noise interacts acoustically with the trachea, causing better resonance. Overall, this created a better quality output compared to the larynx.

The sound output of the syrinx is consistently better than the larynx in different trachea length. In shorter trachea, the difference in loudness between a syrinx and larynx isn't much, but a longer trachea with a syrinx created louder sounds than a larynx. Trachea length is significant in birds because they have a relatively long trachea within the tetrapods. It's more beneficial to birds to use a syrinx because the long trachea and lower position of the syrinx produces louder and more resonate sound. This amplifies the function sound serves in birds for communicating, mating, and establishing dominance over other males.

77lemonpie (talk) 07:41, 29 March 2021 (UTC)

Week 9
 Feedback Responses/ 2nd Draft Plans 

Sources:
 * I'm going to find 1-2 more sources on the syrinx to improve my credibility on my second draft. A variety would make my information seem well researched.

Images:
 * As others have mentioned, my images would benefit my draft if I add a more information on my descriptions. I'm going to describe what I'm trying to show in my content with each image, what it would say will depend on the new images I find.
 * I had a hard time finding a good diagram that compared a trachea with a larynx and one with both larynx and syrinx. There wasn't one in the wikicommons that had what I really wanted so I chose images on each of them.
 * I'm going to find a comprehensive diagram with a syrinx, larynx, and trachea.

Content: - Reword the comparison of birds with other vetebrates (←emphasis on plural) to be less confusing. - Find a different word for "better" to be neutral yet convey the evolutionary advantage the syrinx had in birds. - The "loudness" aspect of the trachea length needs to be reworded to flow better, and I'm going to figure out how to use a different word than "loudness" and the sound quality. 77lemonpie (talk) 06:14, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Major mistake on my part, I didn't mean to link to the communication section of the bird page, I meant to make it reference a section of the Bird anatomy page I think it would fit. We're not editing two different pages and will fix it.
 * Fix the link to the Greek word for syrinx to the syrinx on birds.
 * Fix spelling mistakes.
 * I'll integrate all the comments/suggestions on how to rewrite my sentences. I agree a lot of them lack flow and have quite a few grammar issues.
 * I'll build more content off of more resources.

Week 11: Second Draft
(I'm editing additional information on the Syrinx (bird anatomy) page rather than the Bird anatomy page. This is because the syrinx page already exists and is really detailed. My first draft would be redundant/useless as a contribution, but I will add information on sexual dimorphism in the syrinx to that page. My contribution to Bird anatomy would be reorganization, and Syrinx (bird anatomy) is sexual dimorphism.)

————————————————————————————————————— BIRD ANATOMY PAGE ————————————————————————————————————————————— ORIGINAL:

Respiratory system
...the syrinx can produce more than one sound at a time.

Circulatory system

Birds have a four-chambered heart,[55] in common with mammals, and some reptiles (mainly the crocodilia). This adaptation allows for an efficient nutrient and oxygen transport throughout the body, providing birds with energy to fly and maintain high levels of activity. A ruby-throated hummingbird's heart beats up to 1200 times per minute (about 20 beats per second).[56]

EDITED:

Respiratory system
...the syrinx can produce more than one sound at a time. See also: Syrinx (bird anatomy)

Circulatory System
Birds have a four-chambered heart,[55] in common with mammals, and some reptiles (mainly the crocodilia). This adaptation allows for an efficient nutrient and oxygen transport throughout the body, providing birds with energy to fly and maintain high levels of activity. A ruby-throated hummingbird's heart beats up to 1200 times per minute (about 20 beats per second).[56]

'I want to change the Circulatory system to a big heading and not a subheading since it's significantly different and should belong as its own topic. Also, I linked the Syrinx (bird anatomy) to lead off of the mention of the syrinx in the respiratory system to the page I'll be editing as well.'

————————————————————————————————————— SYRINX (BIRD ANATOMY PAGE) —————————————————————————————————————————————

Sexual dimorphism
Sexual dimorphism leads to different syrinxes in birds, and the degree of differences varies. Some species do not present differences between sexes while others, like the mallard (Anas platyrhynchos), have distinctly different syrinxes between males and females. This difference is significant given that sexing birds is difficult at younger stages. Birds that exhibit sexual dimorphism in the syrinx can present itself at around 10 days in Pekin ducks (Anas platyrhynchos domestica)



Male ducks have a large tracheal bulla (bulla syringealis), whereas females have a discreetly sized bulla. There are multiple key differences that distinguishes a male's syrinx from a female's. Males have a large bulla located on the left side of the trachea, and the tracheosyringeal rings that line the trachea are thicker in male mallards than in females. Within the trachea there is a structure called the pessulus that divides the trachea in half where the two bronchus branch out. The pessulus is ossified, and lined with tympaniform membranes that influence the sound production depending on its thickness when the air runs past the pessulus, causing vibrations. The membranes in males are thick and nontransparent, but the females have thinner, sheer membranes.

The nature of the sounds produced by males and females are different due to these differences in the syrinx. Females have a louder call because the space inside their bulla is not lined with a lot of fat or connective tissue, and the thinner tympaniform membrane takes less effort to vibrate. This decreases the force absorbed from the air moving through the syrinx, making a louder, higher pitched sound. On the other hand, males have a lot of fat and connective tissue in their bulla, which absorbs much more power from the moving air. This couple with their thicker membranes leads to less vibrations and a duller, lower pitched sound.

77lemonpie (talk) 07:44, 1 May 2021 (UTC)

Week 13: Final Draft
(I'm editing additional information on the Syrinx (bird anatomy) page rather than the Bird anatomy page. This is because the syrinx page already exists and is really detailed. My first draft would be redundant/useless as a contribution, but I will add information on sexual dimorphism in the syrinx to that page. My contribution to Bird anatomy would be reorganization, and Syrinx (bird anatomy) is sexual dimorphism.)

————————————————————————————————————— BIRD ANATOMY PAGE ————————————————————————————————————————————— ORIGINAL:

Respiratory system
...the syrinx can produce more than one sound at a time.

Circulatory system

Birds have a four-chambered heart,[55] in common with mammals, and some reptiles (mainly the crocodilia). This adaptation allows for an efficient nutrient and oxygen transport throughout the body, providing birds with energy to fly and maintain high levels of activity. A ruby-throated hummingbird's heart beats up to 1200 times per minute (about 20 beats per second).[56]

EDITED:

Respiratory system
...the syrinx can produce more than one sound at a time. See also: Syrinx (bird anatomy)

Circulatory System
Birds have a four-chambered heart,[55] in common with mammals, and some reptiles (mainly the crocodilia). This adaptation allows for an efficient nutrient and oxygen transport throughout the body, providing birds with energy to fly and maintain high levels of activity. A ruby-throated hummingbird's heart beats up to 1200 times per minute (about 20 beats per second).[56]

'I want to change the Circulatory system to a big heading and not a subheading since it's significantly different and should belong as its own topic. Also, I linked the Syrinx (bird anatomy) to lead off of the mention of the syrinx in the respiratory system to the page I'll be editing as well.'

————————————————————————————————————— SYRINX (BIRD ANATOMY PAGE) —————————————————————————————————————————————

Sexual dimorphism
Sexual dimorphism leads to different syrinxes in birds, and the degree of differences varies. Some species do not present differences between sexes while others, like the mallard (Anas platyrhynchos), have distinctly different syrinxes between males and females. This difference is significant given that sexing birds is difficult at younger stages. Birds that exhibit sexual dimorphism in the syrinx can present itself at around 10 days in Pekin ducks (Anas platyrhynchos domestica)





Male ducks have a large tracheal bulla (bulla syringealis), whereas females have a smaller sized bulla. There are multiple key differences that distinguishes a male's syrinx from a female's. Males have a large bulla located on the left side of the trachea, and the tracheosyringeal rings that line the trachea are thicker in male mallards than in females. Within the trachea there is a structure called the pessupessuluslus that divides the trachea in half where the two bronchus branch out. The pessulus is ossified, and lined with tympaniform membranes that influence the sound production depending on its thickness when the air runs past the pessulus, causing vibrations. The membranes in males are thick and nontransparent, but the females have thinner, sheer membranes.

The nature of the sounds produced by males and females are different due to these differences in the syrinx. Females have a louder call because the space inside their bulla is not lined with a lot of fat or connective tissue, and the thinner tympaniform membrane takes less effort to vibrate. This decreases the force absorbed from the air moving through the syrinx, making a louder, higher pitched sound. On the other hand, males have a lot of fat and connective tissue in their bulla, which absorbs much more power from the moving air. This coupled with their thicker membranes leads to less vibrations and a duller, lower pitched sound.

77lemonpie (talk) 17:25, 11 May 2021 (UTC)