User:801johnna/Foster care in the United States/IG270 Peer Review

General info
801johnna
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:801johnna/Foster care in the United States:
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
Your contribution to the foster care article for California is really thorough! Here are some tips to make it even better:

Make sure your citations follow the same format throughout. For example, instead of putting a period before the citation, just place it right after the relevant info.

Simplify the introduction to give a clear overview of the main issues in California's foster care system. For example:

The main heading "The Institutions Governing the Mechanism of Child Removal and Parental Rights Termination (PTR)" could be shortened to something like "Child Removal and Parental Rights: How It Works."

- When listing the sixteen risk factors, clarify that these are not reasons for removal. It's important to show that not every factor leads to a child being taken from their family.

Keep the language neutral and stick to the facts, especially in sections that touch on controversial topics like children's lawyers. Phrases like "collide with state interests" and "political relationships and professional reputation" sound biased without solid evidence to back them up.

- Double-check all the details of legal cases and quotes to make sure they're accurate and make sense in context.

- Make sure each section flows smoothly into the next. Adding some transitional sentences or paragraphs can help tie everything together logically.

With these tweaks, your addition will fit nicely with the informative style needed for a Wikipedia entry.