User:A5phan/Anti-sweatshop movement/RyanDing26 Peer Review

General info
A5phan
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:A5phan/Anti-sweatshop movement
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Anti-sweatshop movement

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

I think that the lead is a bit concise at the moment, and has a repetitive statement within it. However, I appreciate the emphasis on the important message of the lead, which is that the anti-sweatshop movement improves a variety of aspects within sweatshops to prevent abuse.

Content

There is a lot of historical information present within the article, which is a given since sweatshops have existed since the Industrial Revolution. However, I think what it lacks is the modern-day connection, if any, of sweatshop conditions globally. I think that more contemporary content could be added, if any are readily found, to illustrate the ongoing issue of working conditions within sweatshops today.

Tone and Balance

I appreciate the analysis of various sources for and against the improvement of conditions, painting a more neutral stance on the sweatshops. It does not seem to try and persuade users to one viewpoint over another, but I do notice that some citations are still needed for the Arguments in Favor of current sweatshop conditions!

Sources and References

As stated in balance, a few references are still needed within the arguments for and against section. I also do think that the proportion of content to references is a bit off as well, with a few sentences here and there lacking citations. Additionally, there are only really 14 references, which draws concerns as to whether or not the information is holistically represented for all viewpoints. Other than that, I realize it is a shorter article currently and improvements can be made in the future!

Organization

It follows a nice structure currently, but I think that some sections such as current-day movements and #WhoMadeMyClothes and its effectiveness can be placed into one section rather than split up. Otherwise, the flow of the article is nice!

Images and Media

Images and media are absent from this article currently. Perhaps a good way to improve it is to add pictures of #WhoMadeMyClothes movement, if any, or images illustrating the current good/bad conditions within sweatshops.

Overall Impressions

This article is definitely off to a good start, and I look forward to seeing what new additions you can add to it!