User:ACapper/Benjamin Danielson/HMcConne Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

ACapper


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:ACapper/Benjamin_Danielson?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * same as above

Evaluate the drafted changes
overall


 * good info box, could maybe add some of his awards into it
 * content- very strong
 * tone and balance - don't see any sections that seem inappropriately short or long, not sensing a biased tone (including the response of Seattle Children's was a smart choice to offset any potential bias.
 * sources and organization - lots of good sources
 * images - good image choices!

lead:

Strong lead section, gives good general info about Dr. Danielson, and also refers his resignation, which generated a fair amount of press about him recently, and would probably be a reason why people would search for him on wikipedia.

early life and edu:

I believe in class you may have mentioned something about the change in demographics and diversity when his family moved to Montana - if I'm not misremembering that, might be good to add. Overall, there's a lot of good information and details here. One thing I may be confused about just regarding how degrees are given at Harvard, but is it correct that he was awarded both a Bachelor's of Arts and a Bachelor's of science for the same degree?

career and health equity advocacy :

A really strong description of both the Odessa Brown Clinic and Dr. Danielson's role there. There isn't a within-wikipedia link option for the clinic, but including a link to the clinic's website might be good - I was given this recommendation as well, with a note that often people don't bother scrolling through the references to find those links otherwise. For the last sentence in this section: " Educating the community that even issues such as persistent hunger can relate to unusually high cases of diabetes, asthma, high blood pressure, and obesity, Dr. Danielson feels strongly that proper medical care includes prevention before illness ever manifests itself" I can understand why you would put it in present tense, but since he's no longer at the clinic, and the rest of the section is in past tense, it should also probably be past tense.

Resignation :

Very small thing, but the heading is probably longer than it needs to be, since it's quickly repeated in the section itself. I think this section required a lot of balance to avoid any potential bias flags, but I think you did it very effectively. If there's any further details on his work now that he's at UW, that would also be great to add.

awards:

I don't know if this is just how wikipedia set up the table, but the references could probably just be attached to the award title itself, to streamline it. Otherwise, it looks great!

selected publications:

This would be something I would double-check with him if you get a chance to zoom with him. I think for medical doctors it's not unusual to not have a lot of publications, but it could also be an issue of in one he was cited with both initials, and another he wasn't, or similar minor complications like that that might be he does have other papers, but they don't get connected back to him.

references:

Looks like you have lots of good references!