User:AFineDouglasFir/Synoecism/AshOrchid2254 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

AFineDouglasFir


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:AFineDouglasFir/Synoecism?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Synoecism

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

It can not be understated how immense of a change this article has from the original, and how all of it is an improvement. The original article about synoecism was brief, disorganized and could use much more information—something of which the author added. New content has been added and old content has been expanded upon, with all new sections and plenty to go with each. There is no identifiable lead in the new content, which leads me to suspect that the intent is to use the old lead. Judging the old lead, it should work well, but the author should consider the brief sentence at the end of the lead. Can it be improved? Can a better example be given, or would more examples help? Otherwise, on that note, once again there has been a lot of content added. Well done!

The new content uses a variety of sources, however these sources are cited semi-sparingly. Could sources be cited more often, or would that distract from the article? Sections such as "Greek Democracies" have only one citation reference in the entire section. Adding more citations to such sections could be a great benefit, to both expand upon the content and to clarify proof of the claims being made. Naturally take this at your own pace, and decide the necessity behind citations in your article. Of the citations used, as far as I can see they are being used correctly and are good sources. Reputable journals and books, with both primary and secondary sources in tow for the article (work by Aristotle for example is present). This is good, and should be commended. Again, the only thing to note is can more citations from these sources be added? Or would that distract from the article?

Content covered in the article is exceedingly clear, and I do not find myself having any issue in reading and understanding. Given the subject matter, there is naturally some weight to the discussion given, so the clarity of the information despite this is quite good. Additionally, the information given is successfully neutral, and pushes no agenda or presses for anything with an intent other than factual education. The neutral tone also does not cause the article to lose focus. Overall this lends itself to a great coverage of ancient Greek society and the relationship with and explanation of synoecism.

Once again, can more citations be added, and would they be helpful?