User:AMCWiki1591/Pope Sylvester II/Kjl7c2 Peer Review

General info
AMCWiki1591
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:AMCWiki1591/Pope Sylvester II - Wikipedia
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Pope Sylvester II - Wikipedia

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall, I would say that the proposed content to be added thus far is introduced well and described in depth; however, it does seem to lead somewhat off of the main topic of the article. The already existing section about the Abacus and Numerals focuses on describing Gerbert's own role in this subject area. The proposed changes give some context which helps highlight Gerbert's place overall in this area, but it also seems to shift towards focusing more on his student Bernelinus of Paris and the subject of the abacus and numerals themselves rather than Gerbert. This shift is seemingly abrupt mainly due to the relative equal lengths of the existing portion and what is proposed to be added.

With that in mind though, a slight redistribution of the new content could help keep it from seeming if the subject is changing throughout the section. By intermittently adding the proposed content within the existing body, it could add context without changing the topic. Additionally, if possible, adding Gerbert into the new material in a more substantial way could be beneficial. Just some questions to think about, Was Gerbert alive during his student's additions to the subject, if so, what did he think about it? or if he had passed, how specifically was his influence seen in any these new changes to the subject.

Some positives I noticed throughout the draft.


 * All new content has been cited, and decent number of different sources have been used thus far.
 * The additions themselves flow together to create a well written and cohesive paragraph.