User:AMousou/Medium ground finch/Beekeepergabi Peer Review

General info
Ayahbear127, Fevans9, AMousou
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:AMousou/Medium ground finch
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Medium ground finch
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Medium ground finch

Evaluate the drafted changes
The draft of the article edits are in process and therefore not fully completed yet. Therefore, I will be evaluating whatever is written in the sandbox for my assigned article, the Medium ground finches. I will be pointing out where things can be added and where stuff is missing, even though it is incomplete and plans for those ideas are probably already thought of and will be added in the future by the group.

Lead
The lead includes an introduction to the bird species, its habitat, and the studies done on ground finches. The second half of the lead has seemed to be edited and changed entirely, but it is a good idea to add some of that original information back, and it directly mentions inbreeding depression and uses a citation. Citations and links could be added to the lead, a link to Charles Darwins' wikipedia page, as well as the source that claims that the ground finches went through those specific changes such as "beak size, behavior and more". The "and more" part to me, does not sound like a neutral point of view and phrasing like that should be avoided. If anything, specify all the changes or do not include that phrasing. Avoid filler or fluff words, you do not need to introduce your statements like in in an essay with transitory or introductory words, just write down the claim you are trying to make. Remember that you aren't writing an english paper and don't need to satisfy a word count, lead must be concise and straight to the point you are trying to make.

Article body
(Btw just so you know in the "article body", the word "habitat" has a typo with the extra "e" added on the end, I'm sure it is a mistake and I would change it myself but I don't know if you are comfortable with me directly editing your sandbox.)

Presentation Outline:

The presentation outline has ideas that not only relate to assigned article topic at hand, the medium ground finches, but also relates it back to their assigned overall topic, natural selection.

Urbanization and how the birds have been directly impacted by urbanization is stated and clarified. As well as how the idea of urbanization will be elaborated and the different changes of behavior and lifestyle of these birds. The impacts of urbanization are clearly stated.

The original article has very little about their behaviors stated and the outline goes into detail what will be added. Two subheadings "inbreeding" and "behavior due to urbanization" will be added which is very great as the article has very little if no information on those ideas.

For parasites, when elaborating on the information on "how some Medium Ground Finches have been able to co-exist with these parasites", you can add what type of relationship and what type of parasitism they have if they are able to co-exist with one another. For example: is it a symbiotic relationship? is it an endoparasite or an ectoparasite?

Overall, really good outlined steps! I couldn't find the bibliography or resources linked so make sure to get sufficient sources for the new claims on urbanization so your valid statements are backed up by fact. Super good and thorough start! Plenty of great new ideas will be added to a wikipedia page in desperate need of an update.