User:AS DXB/Aladdin (BlackRock)/HamstersILY Peer Review

General info
AS DXB
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:AS DXB/Aladdin (BlackRock)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Aladdin (BlackRock)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Unfortunately, your addition to the article was unfortunately already done by someone else only a couple days prior to this. However, I am still capable of providing general feedback that may be of use. Firstly, you did well at staying neutral, and not showing bias which is incredibly important. However, one thing that may improve upon your language usage within the article would be to perhaps to utilize more transitional language, this is because some sentences came across as somewhat abrupt, and irrelevant to the sentence prior, so in this case I think it may be more useful to start an entirely new paragraph, instead of having the paragraph read like multiple facts in a row. Other than that, I think your addition was very good, and I think that you could probably make some revisions to the lead to be more descriptive of what has been added into the article. Lastly, based on my understanding you added the citations that you've used into the references list but not into the paragraph itself. Just make sure that you do that instead so that the formatting of the article is correct. If you're not sure on how to do that then whenever you finish a sentence that you want to add a citation at the end of, just end the sentence and press the " quotation mark button at the top of the sandbox, and it'll allow you to add a citation which will be added into the reference list in the bottom with the correct numbers and citations. But overall, you did very well and it is very unlucky that someone else added what you wrote before you had the chance. Good luck!