User:Aabicus

 For those obsessed with humour and parody, Uncyclopedia:User: also has a User Page on Uncyclopedia. 

I am Ye Olde Luke aabicus; hear me roar.

At least, you would hear me roar if I had the credibility to roar. Unfortunately, as I became a user a mere two minutes ago, I have no eligible reason to be roaring any more than an extra in a movie, in the sense that roaring in such a situation would only call attention to oneself and usually result in the unfortunate (yet utterly unimportant-to-the-plot) death of the ambitious newcomer.

Why this is, no one can say, except that in many a situation I have found that, when one is not the main character, it is a good idea to keep one's mouth shut, as is shown in the following situation:

NOTE: As of late, someone seems to be editing the below scenario. While I enjoy his additions, it seems to detract from the overall point of the diatribe. For this reason, I am leaving an editable version that anyone may contribute to if they feel like doing so. Please make your changes there!

[Six good guys are infiltrating the bad guy's fortress, in the hopes of capturing him.]

Main Character: All right, team, we're going in. A, B, take the left fork. C, D, you're with me through the right fork. E, hang back and cover this entrance.

[''The men nod and spread out like Main Character said to. Main Character, C, and D head down a hallway.'']

Main Character: Hmmmmmm... We haven't seen to have been attacked yet.

[Bad Guy minions come running down an adjacent hallway.]

C: Main Character! Look!

[''Immediately after saying this, C is shot and killed by the first bullet fired. A gunfight ensues, and Main Character single-handedly shoots and kills all the minions.'']

Main Character: All right, let's go.

[Meanwhile, E is busy guarding the front gate.]

E: Tra la la la la la la...

[''The Bad Guy sneaks up from behind and slits his throat. He falls dead. Meanwhile, Main Character and D are sneaking through hallways. Suddenly, Main Character's radio beeps. He puts it to his ear.'']

B: Main Character, this is B. I've infiltrated the enemy base, and I think I've discovered- Huh? What's that? Oh no! AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Main Character: Hello? Hello? B? Are you there?

[''No answer. Main Character starts running really fast down a hallway to find B. Eventually, he meets up with A.'']

Main Character: Take us to whatever B found.

[''The three run and end up in a big room. Bad Guy is waiting for them.'']

Bad Guy Bwahahaa... You cannot defeat me!!!

A: I'll kill him for you, Main Character!

Main Character: No, A! Wait!

[''But it is too late. A charges Bad Guy and Bad Guy instantly kills him.'']

Bad Guy: You have no chance of defeating me!

Main Character: You'll never get away with this!

Bad Guy: Why don't you try and stop me?

Main Character: Fine, I will.

[The two have an epic duel and Main Character eventually kills Bad Guy while simultaneously doing something that will cause the entire base to explode.]

Main Character: Let's get out of here!

[''Main Character and D escape the fortress and fly away as it blows up behind them. The world is saved yet again!'']

As you can see, every extra that opened their mouth died soon after. D, apparently an experienced background character that is been through a few movies already, knew to keep his mouth shut, and survived because of it.

If you remember why I am telling you all this, it was to show you why I am not currently roaring. However, now that I have been a registered user for three hours and forty-seven minutes longer than when I started this explanation, I think I have been a user long enough to justify my roaring. So please disregard everything you have just read, since I now give my self permission to roar.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

Hello let me help my buddy tell you who I am,,, Wikraptor 19:16, 16 July 2007 (UTC) /Subpage