User:Aasaro4970/Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965/Emilycs4970 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

I am reviewing Aasaro4970 's work.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Aasaro4970/Immigration_and_Nationality_Act_of_1965?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hey Alexis!

As for the Lead, you don’t need to add anything to reflect the published change you made (since it was a citation). The article’s Lead is three paragraphs with only two citations, though, so something you could do to improve it is to add more citations, as our Wikipedia trainings have talked about how every sentence should have a citation!

The changes you are drafting appear unbiased and clear as far as I can tell, and you seem to be addressing the equity gaps that appear in the current (unchanged) version of the article.

Your draft of changes also contain far more citations than the current version of the article has, which is a very good thing! I would suggest you go through your draft and make sure any sentence that states an explicit fact has a citation, so that any readers reading the article after you make the changes are able to quickly find the information.

I like how you’re organizing the draft as well – I think it might help clear things up if the Legislative History section had some subsections, so people can easily find things such as a Votes subsection that discusses the votes, or a Timeline subsection.

Overall, I’m impressed with your draft! I did notice some grammatical and punctuation errors, so if you are up for it, feel free to let me know if you want me to proofread it. Otherwise, this article has a lot of potential and I’m excited to see the progress you make!

-- Emily S.

Response to Peer Review
Thank you for your input Emily, I appreciate it! I think the best advice that you gave me was to look at each sentence in my whole Wikipedia article and make sure that everything is cited correctly. I know that in my article, the “Provision” and “Wages under Foreign Certification” sections are highly uncited, so I will need to go through those sections and make sure to either cite the already placed information or delete and edit it. I think it is also wise to add some subsections to the Legislative History section because I had made it pretty long. Because having longer sections with no subsections to break them up, it could lose the audience.

--- Alexis A.