User:Aasaro4970/Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965/Nemerson4970 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Aasaro4970 is the username of the person whose edits I am reviewing.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Aasaro4970/Immigration_and_Nationality_Act_of_1965?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hello, Alexis!

You've got a very solid start so far on reviewing the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965. I think that the article's lead section is very good already, so I don't think you need to add too much to that (if any). You seem to have added plenty of relevant, up-to-date information to the 'legislative history' section of the article in your draft, so well done there! I have a few suggestions to make regarding your draft; I hope you find them to be useful! No worries if you disagree with me at all, these are just some ideas. You've done an excellent job thus far!

- I think that both the article as it exists now and your edits sometimes use language that is a little bit subjective. For instance, when you say "The Hart-Celler Act has a long history of trying to get passed by Congress," or that it was introduced "countless" times, you're making a great assessment of the tough time the Act had getting signed into law. However, I don't think that it's adding very much to the overall content of the page; if people were to read the excellent summary of its legislative history that you've written up, they'd come to understand how tough it was and form their own opinion on the issue.

- Small issue here, but I think you should capitalize 'Act' throughout your edit because you're referencing the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965 specifically, as opposed to an act in general.

- I think you could benefit from having a second pair of eyes to examine the grammar of your edits. Most of the sentences look fantastic and convey the message well, but some of them (ex. "However, this president's support did not stop the debate of the Hart-Celler Act until January 4, 1965, when President Lyndon B. Johnson focused his inaugural address on the reform of immigration, which created intense pressure for the heads of the congressional immigration subcommittees.") are a little long-winded. I'd be happy to help here, please let me know if you'd like a hand with that!

Overall, I think you've approached this project with a good idea of the edits you wanted to make. The tone you've adopted is largely neutral and unbiased, and again, nice work with the citations! Feel free to message me if you'd like more elaboration on any of my suggestions.

Best,

Natalia E. ~

Response to Peer Review
Thank you so much for your input on my draft Natalia! Thank you for mentioning that some of my language and previous language in the article can be subjective. I will go through my whole draft and the article to make sure that the language is correct. Also, I will go into my article to make sure that all of the “acts” are capitalized. And thank you for bringing up that I had some grammatical errors; I will for sure have someone proofread it!

-- Alexis A.