User:AbbieAver/Coureur des bois/Jared.r.wilson-2 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

AbbieAver


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:AbbieAver/Coureur_des_bois?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Coureur des bois

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think the contribution as it is right now signals to a specific section of the article, and rather than focusing on length they focus on important of detail. For wikipedia, this is definitely the way to go, and so far it is highly relevant to the article. The tone is neutral and pulls from multiple articles from credible publishers. There were some grammar related issues, which I've briefly address in the copied draft below, so please refer to the paragraph below for those corrections. I would say that some of the sentences were wordier than they needed to be, and in general writing and especially on wikipedia, being as concise as possible is the goal. If you think the meaning is just as strong without a word, delete it (reach out if you would like me to help with this goal, it's always good to give it a shot on your own first, though). Last, there are images in the article, but you might wanna archive some of your own in the draft that could potentially be added.

The Courerur des bois were known for their trapping abilities by outside parties but French Canadians knew these men as being looked upon without favor. The Courerur des bois lived outside of the typical confines of society and had to adapt to the expectations of the indigenous peoples around them. They did this by adopting the indigenous peoples ritual practices and marrying indigenous women. French Canadians associated the Coureur des bois with being ungovernable and fearless men. The biggest problem that the Coureur des bois posed was to the missionary efforts of the french Canadians. They denounced the French priests and missionaries and undermined their evangelistic efforts by supplying the indigenous peoples with liquor. The Coureur des bois refusal to submit to the will of the missionaries made them an enemy. This resulted in the Coureur Des Bois being labeled as unruly and a threat to colonial survival. The Courerur des bois were renowned for their ability to trap animals for the fur trade but their overall reputation was negative for French Canadians.