User:Abihoover/Thirteen-lined ground squirrel/Mpolit4 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Abihoover


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Abihoover/Thirteen-lined_ground_squirrel?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Thirteen-lined ground squirrel

Evaluate the drafted changes
This draft presents the information well and is organized to make it flow perfectly. It was smart to make an entirely new section for this information; however, after what section is it being placed in the original article? This should be addressed in the draft.

The one point of this draft that interrupts the flow is the last sentence. I would create a new sentence starting at “during their activity state.” Keeping this information in the same sentence interrupts the information slightly and making it a new sentence may help it be read better. Another thing to change is to cite the first sentence after "without food or water...". This information is not necessarily commonly known

It also might be beneficial to expand on how the cell cycle is suppressed since this is a completely new section of the article.