User:Acont061/Bornean orangutan/Kleaslemon Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Acont061


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Acont061/Bornean orangutan
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Bornean orangutan

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * (Personal opinions, no mean of offense) I think you could use another entry sentence. Your main thesis of the paragraphs is the relationship between the Bornean orangutans and the Sumatran orangutans (or say all other orangutans in general), therefore an opening of "Orangutans and humans diverged lineages approximately 14-18 million years ago" doesn't seem too relative. My English grammar is poor, so sorry I can't give you too much advice on this problem, but I did see some obvious mistakes that I think you would like to know. For example, you used two "also" in the last sentence of your first paragraph "Also, the Bornean orangutans also have lower nucleotide diversity". And you have a tendency of using "the reason why" and "because" in one sentence, which is grammatically incorrect. Overall I like your lay-out, except the opening sentence everything flows well, and your tone sounds neutral. When doing further editing, remember to incorporate the citation into your paragraphs. Good luck!
 * (Personal opinions, no mean of offense) I think you could use another entry sentence. Your main thesis of the paragraphs is the relationship between the Bornean orangutans and the Sumatran orangutans (or say all other orangutans in general), therefore an opening of "Orangutans and humans diverged lineages approximately 14-18 million years ago" doesn't seem too relative. My English grammar is poor, so sorry I can't give you too much advice on this problem, but I did see some obvious mistakes that I think you would like to know. For example, you used two "also" in the last sentence of your first paragraph "Also, the Bornean orangutans also have lower nucleotide diversity". And you have a tendency of using "the reason why" and "because" in one sentence, which is grammatically incorrect. Overall I like your lay-out, except the opening sentence everything flows well, and your tone sounds neutral. When doing further editing, remember to incorporate the citation into your paragraphs. Good luck!