User:Actuallyrmk/Loolwa Khazzoom/Sarah Silberman Peer Review

Peer review
This is where you will complete your peer review exercise. Please use the following template to fill out your review.

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing? Actuallyrmk
 * Link to draft you're reviewing: User:Actuallyrmk/Loolwa Khazzoom

Lead
Guiding questions:


 * Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer? Yes
 * Does the Lead include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic? Yes
 * Does the Lead include a brief description of the article's major sections? Yes
 * Does the Lead include information that is not present in the article? Yes
 * Is the Lead concise or is it overly detailed? Concise

Content
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added relevant to the topic? Yes
 * Is the content added up-to-date? Yes
 * Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong? No. It could be interesting to add some song lyrics from her band, but that is not necessary for the success of the article.

Tone and Balance
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added neutral? Yes
 * Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position? No, the writer clearly writes that the ideas in the article are that of the subject and not of the writer
 * Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented? No
 * Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another? No

Sources and References
Guiding questions:


 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information? Yes
 * Are the sources thorough - i.e. Do they reflect the available literature on the topic? Yes
 * Are the sources current? Yes
 * Check a few links. Do they work? Yes

Organization
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read? Yes
 * Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors? No
 * Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic? Yes

Images and Media
Guiding questions: If your peer added images or media


 * Does the article include images that enhance understanding of the topic? Not yet. It could be good to add a photo of Loolwa Khazzoom or perhaps a video of one of her performances (especially in the music section).
 * Are images well-captioned?
 * Do all images adhere to Wikipedia's copyright regulations?
 * Are the images laid out in a visually appealing way?

For New Articles Only
If the draft you're reviewing is a new article, consider the following in addition to the above.


 * Does the article meet Wikipedia's Notability requirements - i.e. Is the article supported by 2-3 reliable secondary sources independent of the subject?
 * How exhaustive is the list of sources? Does it accurately represent all available literature on the subject?
 * Does the article follow the patterns of other similar articles - i.e. contain any necessary infoboxes, section headings, and any other features contained within similar articles?
 * Does the article link to other articles so it is more discoverable?

Overall impressions
Guiding questions:


 * Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete? Yes, it is much better than the original article which is not much right now.
 * What are the strengths of the content added? The writer of the article does a very good job of explaining clearly Khazzoom's thoughts/philosophies while not making them her own. She also does a good job of explaining why Khazzoom has these thoughts.
 * How can the content added be improved? The list of works written by Khazzoom could be made into a separate section entirely, in addition to the one that explains the content of each. A video or link to a song would also be good for the section on her music, as well as successes of the band (in terms of where they've played and when or if they're a smaller band). Also the date of birth of Khazzoom, if available, would be helpful.

Overall evaluation
This is a great article that has contributed significantly to the original. It is well cited and organized, and I look forward to reading the final product.