User:Adam Carr/Arborealoids

This amateur video taken in 1981 near Khranus, New Mexico, is believed to be the only authentic image of arborealoids on the move.

The reality of this article is disputed

Various theories allege the existence of arboreal humanoids, arborealoids or megalanthusoids. None has been generally accepted, or indeed taken seriously by anyone at all, and they are often relegated to fringe science or pseudoscience. Belief in these theories is often associated with lunatic conspiracy theories, Completely Whacko beliefs or being dropped on one's head at an early age.

There are various theories on the nature of these arborealoid beings, giving possible explanations as to whether they exist (and if so what evidence supports their existence), what their intentions are (in general), why anyone bothers with This Kind of Nonsense etc.

Ancient references to arboreal beings

Several ancient peoples the world over described arborealoid beings, as indeed they "described" just about every other non-existent phenomenon ever thought of. There are myths about arborealoids devouring otherwise sensible encyclopedias, and also tales of Eucalypts of Wisdom enlightening Humankind (such as the story of Gumnutz).

Modern claims 

My 4-year-old nephew claims that many people see arboreal humanoids, and also the Easter Bunny, and that beings of this species are the force behind a worldwide conspiracy directed at the manipulation and control of Humankind. He is not the only one to express such opinions. A randomly chosen nitwit, aka, a psychic, also speaks of malevolent things he sees in his sleep. However, both explain that they do not believe that all trees are malevolent, and that there are benevolent members of this species as well (what a relief). Just as the majority of humans treat trees like large but generally harmless plants, but a minority believes just about anything. Such people should probably be kept on farms and killed for food. It has been said (particularly by me, in this article, but said nonetheless) that Arborealoids may have helped the dolphins learn about cold fusion.

Additionally, it has been stated that the black lodge, the Redhat and possibly the purple Teletubby are trying to cover up this theory in order to allow arborealoids to continue to kill humans as a source of fertilizer. Most humans walking past an arboreal lifeform which does not wish to be recognized will regard it as a harmless tree; however, arborealoids kill thousands of motorists every year, and have never been taken to court.

There's much more where this came from, and it will take over Wikipedia unless ruthless action is taken now.