User:Adesuwai/Mental health inequality/Planti345 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Adesuwai


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Adolescent Mental Health
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Mental health inequality

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

- The lead is concise and introduces the content of the article, which is on adolescent mental health.

- I would consider getting rid of the statement "It is an issue many people don't take seriously and should be spoken more about". By adding "should", bias and opinion are subtly added to the article.

Content

- The content is relevant to the topic of the article and on mental health in adolescents.

- The content is up to date, and also mentions about underrepresented groups struggling with mental health within social media.

Tone and Balance

- The tone of this article sounds a bit biased, and seems to be trying to sway the reader into advocating for better mental health resources in schools. While I agree with this, the article should be unbiased towards readers who do and also don't want to add these types of resources.

Sources and References

- The sources used are relevant and up to date to today's world, as many of the sources are from 2022.

- The sources reflect the content within the article being written on mental health in younger people.

Organization

- The content flows a bit choppy, consider adding more transition words or combining some sentences to make the article flow a bit better.Images and Media

- Make sure to add two images on your topic and caption them accordingly.

Overall

- The content added improves the original articles as the original tackles other underrepresented groups other than younger people, such as racial and ethnic groups, LGBTQ, and inequality of mental health in education. Adding a section on adolescents helps add a broader demographic to the article and add onto inequalities in treating mental health globally.