User:Adrifaye/Blind (SZA song)/Hallekerickson Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Adrifaye


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Adrifaye/Blind_%28SZA_song%29?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Blind (SZA song) - Wikipedia

Evaluate the drafted changes
What was done well?

the information you added to the first paragraph is going to allow readers to better understand what the rest of the article is going to be about! What was there previously I don't think was strong or informative enough! Specifically, mentioning the categories of the song (R&B and folk pop) in the first paragraph was important to note, yet later on readers can read more in depth on those categorizations in the article if they so please.

You did a great job at writing about the importance and accomplishments of the song Blind and artist SZA while still being neutral and not having the article turn into a fan page!

'''What are some suggested changes? Why those changes? Which change is the most important?  ' '

One question I do have about this first paragraph is do you have any references to the information provided? I noticed there are no citations, and am curious as to whether perhaps some of that information needs to be cited under wiki policy (its really important information and beneficial to the article!). I think this is an important change to make because all the information in the paragraph is crucial for the article, and would hate for it to be taken out in case it is not cited/referenced!

In the first sentence I think it could be beneficial to perhaps rewrite it to something like "Blind is a song by singer-songwriter SZA  (also known as Solana Rowe)  " instead of later on in that paragraph as it currently is. I think changing it to this could allow the readers to not get confused/have to go back to check if they're the same person, and also because saying "written by" in that latter sentence is somewhat repetitive of "by singer-songwriter...". (I hope that makes sense).

Is there anything you saw in this article that you could apply to your own article?

Looking at your article and how you both added to and made it easier for readers to understand what the rest of the article will be about by improving the first paragraph is encouraging me to reread the first paragraph of my article, because that was not a section I majorly focused on! great work! Hallekerickson (talk) 23:29, 27 January 2023 (UTC)hallekerickson