User:Aecomey/Youth control complex/Cgwilliams327 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Aecomey


 * Link to draft you're reviewing

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Aecomey/Youth_control_complex?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Youth control complex



Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: The original lead could be more informative and concise. The tone of the lead currently leans toward argumentative rather than informative. Make sure it is clear that the base of any present argument is originating from the founder of the theory and not the voice of the article writer in your overall edit.

Content: Depending on what information you intend to add or edit, the topics on the youth support complex and restorative justice could be more clearly stated and defined. Particularly in the Solutions section, the original article discusses each topic without specifically defining what each term means in and of itself. In your draft, you could potentially resolve this by implementing additional research and resources that draw more definite conclusions and by including transitions that clarify the importance and process of implementing said solutions.

Tone and Balance: As stated previously, the tone in the lead could be modified to assert neutrality rather than persuasiveness and the Solutions sections could include more diverse viewpoints.

Sources and References: The reference section makes good use of sources within the existing article that are relevant, peer-reviewed, and timely. Make sure to do additional research outside of the sources listed in the original article, if possible, to add weight to the information you intend to add or edit. For example, you could add sources that expound on the connection between neoliberalism and the war on crime, the rate of criminalization of people of color during the 1980s and mid 1990s in the United States, and specifically when and how the pedagogy surrounding "youth control complex" theory came into being.

Organization: The organization will largely depend on what information you intend to add. However, the original History section could potentially be more organized regarding grammar, sentence structure, and the connection between each piece of information. Make sure the reader knows why the information present is relevant by brining it back to the main topic. The Solutions section is also in need of elaboration which will then require careful planning and organization to ensure seamless transitions between the existing information and your edits.

Images and Media: To include images, you could add statistical data that shows the incarceration rates of young people of color in the United States during the 1980s and mid 1990s to illustrate the connection between the youth control complex and the school to prison pipeline. Additionally, you could add an image of Victor M. Rios, the founder of the theory.