User:Afiaetonam/Maria Rodriguez Denton/Noriyucky Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Afiaetonam (username) - Team 9


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Afiaetonam/Maria Rodriguez Denton (article is actually written on Lauren Macuga)


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Overall Impressions


 * You've done a good job of staying neutral. Your tone is comparable to articles written on similar subjects.
 * Your article is a bit short. Something that might be interesting is writing about how or why she started skiing, or how she feels about her career or the sport as a whole?
 * I would also consider adding a photo of her!

Lead


 * I would consider restructuring this section. Your information about stuff she did as a child should be moved to the "Early Life" section.

Early Life


 * "She was born on July 2, 2002. Her hometown is Park City, Utah."
 * This sequence of sentences is a bit choppy, especially since you start with a pronoun twice. Consider combining the sentences, or starting the first sentence with "Macuga was born July 2, 2002," to match the style of other, similar Wikipedia articles.