User:Afitz7/Abuse during childbirth/Papalkayak Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Afitz7


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Abuse during childbirth Bibliography


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Abuse during childbirth

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The new sources look like good additions to the article, although I can't see all of them. Not all the links work, but I think that's probably okay on Wikipedia, as long as they're cited, since not everything is always going to be available online. The top link goes to an article about hermit crabs, though, so keep an eye out for that when you add it. I think you'll definitely be able to add some really great content from these sources.

The article's lead looks good. It defines the topic and acts as an introduction for the content of the rest of the article. The Geography section could use more content from a wider range of regions, but based on your sources, it looks like you're planning to address that. The Consequences paragraph is repetitive and awkward. If I edited it, I would probably remove all but the first two sentences. It's possible that that would warrant a change to the structure of the article so that the really short section wouldn't exist, but it'd probably be fine. Some parts of the wording of the article are confusing or strange, and could use copyediting. The tone of the article is appropriately unbiased. One question I have is whether people other than women who give birth experience abuse during childbirth, and whether there's any information out there about that. I think it could be an interesting thing to look into and possibly a good expansion to the content of the article, addressing the way this issue impacts an underrepresented group.