User:Agman2026/Tyson Foods/2Fasttoofurious Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Agman2026


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Agman2026/Tyson_Foods?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Tyson Foods

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall, good contribution. I think you add a lot of valuable information. First off, I would add an intro or add something to the Lead so that it is updated with the rest of the article. You want to make sure you briefly introduce your topic in the Lead which I did not see. I think your use of sources is done really well. One thing though is that the direct quotation feels a little funky. I would paraphrase that quote so then you can cite it solely with the footnote rather than a direct quote. Also I would be cautious of the word choice. I think some of your words can feel a little biased, but the overall content is relatively neutral. I think a way you can balance both the criticism is perhaps writing a section with how the company responded to all the criticism so both sides are equally balanced. The writing does feel a little bit like essay writing with all the transition sentences, but I think it reads easily. Overall, I think you did a good first draft but focus more on balancing both sides of the argument and adding an introduction to your topics.