User:Ah51352/Rickettsia rickettsii/Oliviasc0203 Peer Review

General info
Ah51352
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Ah51352/Rickettsia rickettsii
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

This article lacks a lead, and rather jumps right into the "Life Cycle" section. There is not an introduction sentence to describe the bacteria, and the first sentence is in reference to ticks instead of the Rickettsia rickettsii bacteria. The lead should be written to introduce the bacteria, and the larger themes which would then be developed throughout the article.

Content

There is good content about the metabolic pathways which were discussed in class. The article states that this bacteria does not use glycolysis and the P.P. pathway, but doesn't go into detail as to why this is true. This could be good content to add. Additionally, in the "Genome and Phenotypes" section, I would expand on what it means that this bacteria is an "obligate intracellular alpha proteobacterium." Maybe expand on why or when this bacteria would want to cause cell destruction in the 'Genome and Phenotypes" section, or switch the last bit about destruction to the "Virulence" section. The information added to the "Signs and Symptoms" is relevant and provides good information which wasn't previously presented in the article.

Tone and Balance

The content added is neutral and scientific.

Sources and Referencing

Looking at the list of sources, it appears that most of them were published recently.

Organization

There are some run on sentences, which could be rewritten to present the information in a more organized manner. Additionally, there are some paragraphs, for example the "Metabolic Pathways" paragraph, which could be broken up. I would add more to discuss why the bacteria does not use glycolysis and the P.P. pathway and then add a new paragraph when discussing the sugars and other metabolites which are needed from the host cell.

Images and Media

There are no images or other specific media in this article at this time.