User:Ahowel10/Embryo cryopreservation/Harnieri Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Ahowel10


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Ahowel10/Embryo_cryopreservation?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Embryo cryopreservation

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

N/A

Content

The content added is relevant to the topic of embryo cryopreservation. The information added dives into the implications of not having a lot of developed and uniform laws on this topic and what issues can arise. The information is current as it comes from sources that are very recent. The article does touch on historically underrepresented groups such as homosexuals and single women. This also touches upon family planning for homosexuals which is an underrepresented topic.

Tone and Balance

The content added is mostly neutral on the topic of embryo cryopreservation. I think this sentence "freezing embryos affords individuals flexibility and greater ability to plan their future families" shows a bias of being pro-embryo cryopreservation. I am not sure is this a bad thing but might be something to consider when writing this article. The article talks a lot about the pros of embryo cryopreservation, but not about the negatives or side effects to embryo cryopreservation. Including both sides might make the article more neutral.

Sources and References

Some of the sources are not legal sources. Rather, the sources appear to be from online articles, which could be biased. I would use more reliable sources rather than online news outlets for the secondary sources. I think sources 1 and 2 are of the biggest issue for being reliable. But, the content does accurately reflect what is contained in the cited sources. The sources are current. All the links to the sources work.

Organization

The content is well-written and clear. I did not find any grammatical or spelling errors. I think the content is well-orgnizded as it flows together. I think maybe renaming the header from implications to something concerning legal background/implications could also be helpful and more clear about what the section is about.

Images and Media

N/A

Overall impressions

I thought the content added was very thorough and well-written. It did appear to be bit biased towards pro-embryo cryopreservation. I think that it provides a lot of good aspects from embryo cryopreservation rather than any of the negatives. Other than that, it appears to be neutral when talking about the legal landscape of embryo cryopreservation. I think if you focus more on the legal aspect of embryo cryopreservation that bias will disappear. I think the needs to be a review of the sources and maybe more reliable sources. Overall, I thought it contained very helpful and relevant information on the topic.

Response by Author (ahowel): Thank you for your feedback! It was very helpful, and I recognize now some of my bias in favor of embryo cryopreservation. I am going to rewrite in particular the sentence you pointed out "freezing embryos affords individuals flexibility and greater ability to plan their future families" in order to be more neutral. I will also seek to supplement and add more reliable sources.