User:Ahowel10/Embryo cryopreservation/Idelmund Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Ahowel10


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Ahowel10/Embryo_cryopreservation?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Embryo cryopreservation

Lead
The lead here makes sense. By introducing the topic generally, I get an idea as a reader on the information that will be discussed later in the text. This lead reflects important information in the text, specifically, the politics surrounding embryo cryopreservation and the legislature surrounding contracts concerning the allocation of embryos.

Content
The content is current and relevant to the topic. I think the author should include a comparison how different state legislatures have responded to the contracts involving the use of embryos, as she already discusses the Illinois legislature's response to the allocation and use of embryos.

Tone and Balance
The information is presented in a neutral manner. It is not biased or argumentative. As for viewpoints, the author could discuss how other state legislatures have treated the allocation and use of embryos.

Sources and References
The sources cited are current and reflect available literature on the topic. Some sentences are missing citations (for example, "State courts are often left to decide these issues as statutory resources are not well-developed across the states."). The sources that are cited in this article are diverse and come from several different authors or institutions.

Organization
The content is well-written, but I think the author could use less words to convey the same points. I do not spot any grammatical errors. I suggest adding a header above the second paragraph in the Implications section to signal to the reader that the paragraph is about the legal implications of embryo cryopreservation.

Overall Impressions
The content has improved the quality of the article by introducing the legal consequences that arise from embryo cryopreservation. The article is excellent in its use of diverse and current sources. The content can be improved by editing it so that less words are used to convey the same ideas.

Response by Author (ahowel10): Thank you for your insightful feedback! I will work on re-writing in order to cut down some of my wordy, longer sentences. I will also add the header above the second paragraph as you recommended in order to signal to the reader that the paragraph is about the legal implications of embryo cryopreservation.