User:Airhogs777/Wikipedia: The Musical

Act I
[Song: Welcome to Wikipedia, Whatever] A new user, Susanne Henderson, joins Wikipedia. [Song: I'm Being Evil Today!] Prof. Wheels sends a virus to the Wikipedia servers to shut them down for a few days. His plan is effective but annoys Henderson. She complains to The Foundation to turn it back on, [Song: Wikipedia:SOFIXIT!] and is quickly kidnapped by Wheels.

Act II
This scares the Foundation, mainly because they are funded by community donations and might lose support if users know their data is hackable [Song: What to do, what to do??]. Agent Splarka is sent to free her but fails to even hack the security system, despite years of coding experience. Henderson tells Wheels about Uncyclopedia [Song: Uncyclopedia (Unchained)] and he leaves to enjoy a life there, fixing the servers in the process. [Song: It's All Alright]

Scene 0
EXT - WIKIOPOLIS STRIP MALL - DAY

Our main character, Susanne Henderson (a new user and n00b) enters LC and walks down the strip mall, checking her talk page for messages on a cell phone or Bluetooth headset.

Fade out.

Scene 1
INT - PROF. WHEELS' LAIR (LOUNGE)

Prof. Wheels sips from a mug of coffee and slumps in his recliner. Through the lounge window, one can see his VandalBots and henchmen, each with his or her IP address on a nametag over a matching polo shirt. Jimbo can be seen by video feed.

Wheels stands up, sets his mug on the side-table and sneers.

Prof. Wheels presses a button on the table.

Scene 2
SPLIT-STAGE ( L WIKIOPOLIS STRIP MALL, R FOUNDATION HQ) Dennis Tierney at the Foundation HQ picks up the phone.

Henderson pants from exertion after such a stressful number.

She hangs up and walks into what appears to be a news station, only to find instead Prof. Wheels' lair. She screams and is tackled by a muscly vandal.

Fade to black.

Scene 3
Fade in.

INT - FOUNDATION HQ

Inside the Foundation HQ, Jimbo stares up at a large suspended screen UC, on which Prof. Wheels is shown video-chatting once again, behind him the background described in scene 1.

Prof. Wheels then turns the camera towards Henderson, who is tied up and standing in a kiddie-pool full of water.

Jimbo's right-hand woman, Sue Gardner, runs from LC and immediately sees what's going on.

Scene 4
GIANT TV SCREEN - INT(?)

The spotlights suddenly flash onto the large screen, this time the rest of the stage darkened. After a short clip of noise, Prof. Wheels again appears.

The screen changes to reveal Henderson, still constrained.

She is tackled by a large bot and the screen returns to a content-looking Wheels.

The rest of the stage becomes lit with a fiery mob. Glass breaking and shrill screams can be heard while Wheels ad-libs a few paragraphs inflammatory comments. Fade out.

Scene 5
FOUNDATION HQ - INT

Everyone is rushing around, trying to organize the fretting volunteers and admin