User:Alanakay13/Deaf Gain/Scroft123 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Alanakay13


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Alanakay13/Deaf Gain


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * doesn't exist

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead
- good job having a clear introduction to what Deaf Gain is-- you start out with a simple definition that sets up the topic in a concise and clear way.

- You have a sentence about the different types (philosophical, language, architecture, social, cultural, and disabilities studies), but then in the body of the article you discuss philosophical, language, cognitive, cultural, and creative gains, so maybe try to sync up the wording or add the different topics that were mentioned in the lead.

Content
- I think all of the content is relevant to the topic and is explained well with good examples.

- Only thing I could say you can add are the few aspects you mentioned above in the lead that weren't specifically mentioned in the body.

- You definitely addressed topics related to historically underrepresented populations and provided a wide range of information on it with examples.

Tone and Balance
- I only caught one example that could be seen as the content not being neutral.

- example was "huge controversy" in philosophical gains. I think keeping it at just    "controversy" could seem a little more neutral, but "huge" isn't too big of a deal

- The viewpoints mainly come from deaf culture, but they are usually paired with saying what the hearing community's view is and then detailing what the deaf community believes.

- If you wanted to continue to make it a little more equal then you could explain why the hearing community has those beliefs, and then continue with the explanation why those assumptions are incorrect.

Sources and References
- "American Sign Language (ASL) is revered as the primary and natural language of American Deaf people. - William Stokoe" I'm not sure you meant to do this but the "william stokoe" is in the middle of the paragraph

- According to George Veditz, "Sign Language is the noblest gift God has given to deaf people". - George Veditz in 1913. This sentence is similar, if you are going to add the direct quote and add the person's name and year I could just recommend putting the "." right after people before the quotation marks so it doesn't disrupt the sentence. Or since you already say George Veditz, you can just put the year with his name before the quote.

- I noticed you used your first source a lot (especially for the language gains section), while it has good information, if you could find a few other sources to back up the information even more it would make it stronger.

- If you could add more sources that are secondary sources that would be beneficial.

Organization
- The cognitive gains and cultural gains has a few grammatical errors where it makes the information a little choppy to read. I would recommend just read it through again and making sure everything is in the correct tense and that the tense used is consistent throughout.

- I liked the organization a lot-- I liked how it was split up into 6 big sections and then within those sections it was broken down for more details!

Images and Media
- I liked the visual for martha's vineyard, maybe you could show some visuals for the architecture or the media examples!