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Ruth Underwood
Ruth Underwood (stage name, Damon Albarn), born 7th February 1998, is an English artist and politics activist. Her most notable works are yet to follow when she becomes Secretary for Education for a future Liberal Democrat cabinet. As well as being a political activist, she enjoys a variety of activities, such as procrastination, eating SPAM® and befriending Tories.

Early life
Underwood was born somewhere in a field in the Fens because her mother could not make it to the commoner's NHS hospital in time. Her parents also note that her first word was 'potato' followed by her first sentence: 'and on the eighth day, God created SPAM®'. At the age of 11, Ruth was enrolled into Netherhall Secondary School somewhere in ol' Blighty, and then Ely college at the age of 16, after turning down an offer from Eton. She is currently studying the physics behind Nigel Farage's perfect bottom.

Career
After maintaining a deep interest of politics, Underwood befriended the son of Tory counsellor and more notably deputy headteacher in 'Educating Essex', George Michael, who managed to get her a job as David Cameron's stylist. Some of her most notable outfits fitted for the Prime Minister include fishnet tights and a top from Select sporting a photo of the Mr Payravi (aka future PM). She has often made him go shoeless. Ed Miliband claims his stylist, Bob, "has better #grunge taste and is more working class".

Fame
Underwood rose to prominence as a model for the canned precooked meat product company, SPAM®, modelling for a number of high end items, such as SPAM® flip-flops and a SPAM® pocket knife. All these items can be found on the SPAM® official website.

Retirement
After quitting Ely College, Ruth now resides in a campsite in Hornsey, where she sometimes plays DJ sets in local clubs under the pseudonym 'DJ Lynn'. Ruth has three children, two being adopted Scottish expats in there mid 60s, one named 'George' and the other 'Michael', and another being a boy named 'Bill'.

Inspirations
Underwood has written a book named 'Bouncing Back' (not to be confused with the Alan Partridge autobiography, recording a number of her life events, such as meeting her idol, A. P, in an Easter Egg hunt in Sutton, and stabbing her foot on a spike before an awards ceremony, which she bravely partook in in spite of her injuries, claiming that 'some of these people have come from Stoke'. She also holds weekly podcasts, where she discusses her crush, Eric Pickles, with other Members of Parliament, such as Theresa May and Matthew Offord, however, Underwood claims she does not hold a Tory bias, as she often invites Mark Reckless and Nigel Farage MEP as guest hosts on her show, but they refuse, stating that they 'too busy 'avin a pint down the ol' rub-a-dub'. Underwood's official website can be found here: www.dangitdavidbowie.tumblr.com/