User:Alex Prieditis/Overconsumption/Kuzey Gunesli Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Alex Prieditis


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Alex Prieditis/Overconsumption


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Overconsumption

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead
The lead has been improved significantly and includes new information. It is a much more in-depth introduction to the topic compared to the original article.

The introductory sentence concisely and clearly describes the article's topic. However, if you added this sentence at the very top of the page, it would make the article look nicer.

The lead section could be broken down more to reflect the different sections of the article. Currently it is three large paragraphs, albeit very informative, but it would help the reader get a better sense of what is included in the article if you broke it down into more paragraphs that acted as summaries for the other sections in the article. I believe you have all the information necessary, just breaking it down into different paragraphs would make it easier on the reader.

The lead does not include information that is not present in the article.

The lead section is very informative but like I stated above, could be broken down more if not distributed throughout the article.

Content
The new content added is very relevant to the topic and looks to be up to date. There seems to be no content that is missing or does not belong, only content added. Some previous sources are outdated, leading to some of the content added previous to your edits most likely being outdated (see Sources and References section). However, the new content added is very relevant and in-depth.

The article does not deal with one of Wikipedia's equity gaps and does not address topics related to historically underrepresented populations or topics.

Tone and Balance
The contend added is neutral. However, there are some statements left over from before you edited the article that make it seem more like an essay written to prove a point rather than an informative article such as "The nations that will come into consumer dominance must abstain from abusing certain forms of consumption, such as energy consumption that produces CO2". However, I am not well versed in this subject so I might be wrong. The information you added to the article is very informative and from a neutral standpoint. Very good work.

There are no viewpoints that are overrepresented or underrepresented, they are fairly balanced.

Sources and References
New content is backed up by exceptional peer-reviewed sources. I checked out the article referenced as "Kjellberg, H. (2008). Market practices and over‐consumption. Consumption, Markets and Culture, 11(2), 151-167." and it seemed very interesting and pertinent to the article. The new sources are thorough.

Some sources from edits before yours are not the best. For example one of the sources is "The Story of Stuff" – via www.youtube.com. This is not a very accurate source. Another example is The 25 Largest Consumer's Markets ... And The Outlook For 2015. (n.d.). Retrieved November 05, 2017, from https://www.internationalbusinessguide.org/25-largest-consumers-markets-outlook-2015/. This source seems to be time-depended and outdated as it provides an outlook for 2015. I would suggest going through sources added prior to your edit and replacing the ones similar to those I listed above.

Organization
The content is overall very well written. Like I previously stated, the lead section could be broken down into several paragraphs but the content is very good. I have one suggestions on this section:

"Green parties and the ecological movements often argue that consumption per person, or ecological footprint, is typically lower in poorer than in richer nations, however overconsumption is reliant on the actual resource quantity available for each country and not just the world as a whole. However, the developing world is a growing market for consumption."

Using "however" immediately after using it in the previous sentence makes it sound off. I would recommend using "nevertheless" in the second sentence or combining the two sentences using "although" in place of the second "however".

Overall the content is very well organized and well-written.

Images and Media
The article includes images and graphs that enhance understanding of the topic. They are well captioned but not individually referenced. They are laid out in a visually appealing way.

I am not very sure what kind of images you can add in addition to the images already present in the article. Adding more informational graphs or images is always good but the images look good as they are.

Overall Impressions
The content added has definitely improved the overall quality of the article and makes it more complete than before. The content added provides a more in-depth look at the subject of overconsumption and helps provide the reader with a better understanding of the concepts of overconsumption. The content added is already very good, some formatting changes can be done like I mentioned above.

Overall, very good work! My main suggestions would be to clear some of the cobwebs that were in the article prior to your edits, such as the sources I mentioned above.

-Kuzey Gunesli